I’m a little bored today. What shall I do? Oh, I know, I’ll make a movie that’s filled to the brim with drugs, insanity, and all sorts and reckless criminal behavior! It will be about a guy who gets poisoned and the only way to stop the poison is to…find the antidote…no, no, too realistic. Let’s say there is no antidote, and in order to stay alive he will have to keep his adrenaline pumping so his heart won’t stop. The science lines up on that, I checked. Then he can do all sorts of drugs, have sex, and crash cars while he gets revenge on the people who poisoned him. AND, because his adrenaline is pumping we can have him fall out of a helicopter from thousands of feet up, land on a car and bounce off, and he will totally survive…because of the adrenaline! That way a sequel is possible once everyone figures out how awesome this movie is.

That’s right, my punch-drunk pals, today I’m talking about the Jason Statham classic, Crank!