-
Recent Posts
-
- Drive Angry 3-D (2011) Review: Never Disrobe Before Gunplay!
- Road House (1989): Skinny Dipping and Throat Ripping
- Summer Movies 2024: What Are We Looking Forward To (and NOT Looking Forward To)? You Weigh In!
- Salt (2010) Review: Salty, Tasty Goodness
- Freelance (2023): This Film Shouldn’t Quit Its Day Job
Categories
Category Archives: movie
True Lies (1994): Triple Best!
You know True Lies is going to be awesome when the start of the film is Arnold in a tuxedo being asked to see his invitation, to which Arnold responds “Sure, here’s my invitation,” and blows something up. Take note movie makers, that is how you start a flick!
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, comedy, movie, R-rated
Tagged 20th Century Fox, action, Ahnold, AIM-9 Sidewinder, Arnold Fest 09, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Art Malik, AV-8B Harrier, Bill Paxton, breasts, Charles Zidi, Charlton Heston, Claude Zidi, dance, Didier Kaminka, Eliza Dushku, Florida Keys, Grant Heslov, horse, James Bond, James Cameron, Jamie Lee Curtis, La Totale, Lightstorm Entertainment, Miou-Miou, Nudity, Omega Sector, Partial Nudity, pole dance, R-rated, remake, sexy dance, Simon Michaël, spoiler, spy, Stephanie Austin, strip-tease, terrorism, terrorists, Thierry Lhermitte, Tia Carrere, Tom Arnold, True Lies, truth serum, violence
3 Comments
Kindergarten Cop vs. Cop and a Half
Round 1: The Opening Sequence! Kindergarten Cop (KC) opens with the scruffy John Kimble (Arnold), a tough police detective, following the baddie, Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson), around a mall. A few minutes later he is busting up into a ritzy salon pointing a gun in Crisp’s face while the shmuck is trying to get a manicure. Who knew getting a mani/pedi was a crime? Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 1 kaboom, 1.5 kabooms, action, comedy, family, movie, PG-rated, Versus
Tagged Arne Olsen, Arnold Fest, Arnold Fest 09, Arnold Schwarzenegger, brain, Burt Reynolds, Burt Reynolds mustache, Carroll Baker, comedy, Cop and a Half, Devon, Dion DiMucci, Henry Winkler, Herschel Weingrod, Imagine Films Entertainment, Ivan Reitman, John Kimble, Kindergarten Cop, language, Linda Hunt, Murray Salem, Norman D. Golden II, Pamela Reed, Penelope Ann Miller, PG, PG-13, police, Predator, Ray Sharkey, Richard Tyson, Ruby Dee, The Wanderer, Timothy Harris, tumor, Twinkies, Universal Pictures, vagina, Vinnie, violence, Zombieland
3 Comments
Zombieland (2009)
Zombieland kicks some serious zombie butt! And made me want to eat some Twinkies to boot. I’ve been pumped about this movie since the first day I heard about it, and it was everything I’d hoped and dreamed for. Finally, we get a movie that isn’t a remake or a sequel! Zombieland is fresh and original, and for a movie about walking, rotting corpses that says a lot!
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3.5 kabooms, action, comedy, horror, movie, R-rated
Tagged Abigail Breslin, action, Amber Heard, amusement park, banjo, California, cameo, clown, clown zombie, Columbus, comedy, con artist, Dalton Cole, Deliverance, Derek Graf, Emma Stone, Hostess Snowballs, Hostess Twinkies, Jesse Eisenburg, Lisa Hoyle, Little Rock, Luci Romberg, mad cow disease, Paul Wernick, Rhett Reese, Ruben Fleischer, scam, snowballs, spoiler, survival horror, Tallahasseee, Texas, Twinkies, undead, Wichita, Woody Harrelson, zombie, zombie apocalypse, Zombie Kill of the Week, Zombieland, zombies, zomcom
19 Comments
Raw Deal (1986): Plenty of Learning Opportunities
It never ceases to amaze me how much ass Arnold can kick. I have seen a ton of Arnold movies, but each time I watch one, or watch one again, I am always excited and blown away by how much ass he kicks. And that my friends, is what makes a true action star.
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3.5 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated
Tagged action, Alphy Galuten, Arnold Fest, Arnold Fest 09, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Boardman, Claude Gaudette, cookies, Darren McGavin, De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, Dino De Laurentiis, Ed Lauter, explosion, FBI, Gary DeVore, Godfather, John Irvin, Kathryn Harrold, kill, Luciano Vincenzoni, Mafia, Martha Schumacher, mob, mobster, Normal Wexler, Nudity, Paul Shenar, pervasive language, phallic shapes, Raw Deal, Robert Davi, Rolling stones, Sam Wanamaker, Sergio Donati, sexual content, Steven Hill, strong violence, violence, witness protection
4 Comments
Surrogates (2009): Die Hardly or How to Underuse Bruce Willis
Surrogates summary in 21 words:
This isn’t an action film or comedy. The plot is interesting in theory but poorly executed. It was okay, not great.
End of summary. Thank you, thank you.
Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 1 kaboom, action, movie, PG-13, science fiction
Tagged action, Boris Kodjoe, Brett Weldele, Bruce Willis, drama, drug-related scene, graphic novel, I Robot, James Cromwell, James Francis Ginty, John D. Brancato, Jonathan Mostow, language, Michael Ferris, mystery, Radha Mitchell, Robert Venditti, robot, Rosamund Pike, sci-fi, science fiction, sexuality, spoiler, Surrogates, Touchstone Pictures, Ving Rhames, violence
10 Comments
Red Heat (1988): Do You Know Miranda?
You know how people will sometimes swear on things to try and make a point that they’re telling the truth? Usually, the ultimate thing to swear on would be on your mamma’s life or something like that. When someone is bringing their mamma into the picture they usually mean business. However, Red Heat has opened my eyes to a new, and I think more serious swear. Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3.5 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated
Tagged action, Arnold Fest, Arnold Fest 2009, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bennie E. Dobbins, boobs, breasts, Brent Jennings, Carolco Pictures, Chicago, drug lord, druglord, Drugs, Ed O'Ross, gang, gangster, Gina Gershon, Harry Kleiner, Iron Curtain, Ivan Danko, James Belushi, Jim Belushi, Jim Morrison, Kremlin, Laurence Fishburne, Miranda, Miranda Rights, Nudity, oath, Peter Boyle, Pruitt Taylor Vince, R-rated, Red Heat, revenge, Russia, Russian, Soviet, Soviet Union, swear, testicles, testimony, The Doors, Tristar Pictures, Troy Kennedy-Martin, Vienna, violence, Walter Hill
4 Comments
Arnold Facts: Red Heat (1988)
Red Heat is dedicated to its stunt coordinator, Bennie E. Dobbins, who died of a heart attack on the set while staging the snow fight scene in Vienna.
Continue reading
Posted in action, movie, trivia
Tagged Arnold Fest, Arnold Fest 2009, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bennie E. Dobbins, boobs, breasts, Brent Jennings, Carolco Pictures, Chicago, Ed O'Ross, Gina Gershon, Harry Kleiner, James Belushi, Jim Morrison, Laurence Fishburne, Nudity, Peter Boyle, Pruitt Taylor Vince, R-rated, Red Heat, Russian, The Doors, Tristar Pictures, Troy Kennedy-Martin, Vienna, violence, Walter Hill
2 Comments
Total Recall (1990)
I just witnessed possibly the greatest tragedy I have seen in any motion picture: The woman with the three boobs was shot…and killed. Noooooooooooooooooo! I can’t believe it. Ohh, the humanity! Let’s all just take a moment of silence to remember our great friend… Triple Nipple Girl.
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated, science fiction
Tagged adventure, Anne Lockhart, Arnold Fest, Arnold Fest 09, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Benny, boobs, breasts, Dan O'Bannon, explosion, graphic bloody violence, Jon Povill, kill, language, Mars, Marshall Bell, Mel Johnson Jr, memory, Michael Champion, Michael Ironside, movie, Nudity, Paul Verhoeven, Philip K. Dick, pseudomemory, Quaid, R-rated, Rachel Ticotin, Robert Picardo, Ronald Shusett, Ronny Cox, science fiction, scifi, Sharon Stone, spoiler, strong sexuality, Total Recall, Triple Nipple Girl, tripled-breasted, Tristar Pictures, violence, virtual reality, We Can Remember It For You Wholesale
5 Comments