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Recent Posts
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- Drive Angry 3-D (2011) Review: Never Disrobe Before Gunplay!
- Road House (1989): Skinny Dipping and Throat Ripping
- Summer Movies 2024: What Are We Looking Forward To (and NOT Looking Forward To)? You Weigh In!
- Salt (2010) Review: Salty, Tasty Goodness
- Freelance (2023): This Film Shouldn’t Quit Its Day Job
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Category Archives: movie
Drive Angry 3-D (2011) Review: Never Disrobe Before Gunplay!
After watching Drive Angry 3D, I’ve come to realize that Nicolas Cage’s character, Milton, is really a metaphor for Nicolas Cage. It doesn’t matter what you do to kill Milton, he just keeps coming. It doesn’t matter how hard his film bombs or what critics say about it, Cage will keep making funny and ridiculous, sometimes horrible, films, and by golly, I just can’t get enough. Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3-D, 4 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated, Valentine's Day
Tagged action, Action Flick Chick, Amber Heard, Billy Burke, Chicks Who Don't Want Flowers for Valentine's Day!, cult, Drive Angry, Drive Angry 3-D, explosion, gun fight, hell, Jonah King, Machete, Milton, Nicolas Cage, Piper, Sex Scene, The Accountant, Valentine's Day, William Fichtner
6 Comments
Road House (1989): Skinny Dipping and Throat Ripping
When I heard about the Road House remake hitting the small screens, I was inspired to revisit the original cult classic to see how it strikes me now, decades after I first saw it. And, on rewatching it, what was the first thing I was struck by? Patrick Swayze’s buns. Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated
Tagged action, Ben Gazzara, boobs, breasts, David Lee Henry, explosion, Kelly Lynch, Marshall Teague, nude, Nudity, Patrick Swayze, picnic, polar bear, R-rated, Rambo, Road House, Rowdy Herrington, Sam Elliott, sex, Silver Pictures, skinny dipping, skinnydipping, strong graphic violence, strong language, Sunshine Parker
10 Comments
Salt (2010) Review: Salty, Tasty Goodness
If there is one thing you can learn from Salt is that Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is a freakin’ kleptomaniac! How many outfits does one highly-skilled CIA operative need to steal? Don’t you have any morals?! Oh wait, Salt’s a highly skilled CIA operative- of course she doesn’t have morals. Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3.5 kabooms, action, movie, PG-13
Tagged action, Action Flick Chick, Angelina Jolie, CIA, Daniel Olbrychski, Evelyn Salt, explosion, female ass kicker, kills, Liev Schreiber, Russia, Russian spy, Salt, Ted Winter, White House
5 Comments
The Mechanic (2011) Review: Room-Temperature Action, Served at Moderate Speed
Tired of movies that are too good? Sick of movies that are too bad? Ready for something that’s right in the middle? Look no further, it’s The Mechanic! Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 2.0 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated
Tagged action, Action Flick Chick, Arthur Bishop, Assassin, Ben Foster, Cold Hearted, drinking, explosions, hit man, hitman, Jason Statham, kill, killing, mechanic, Paula Abdul, spoiler, Steve McKenna, The Mechanic, Tony Goldwyn
3 Comments
Troll 2 (1990): More Reasons Not to Eat Green Eggs and Ham
Dr. Seuss has been trying to convince people to eat green eggs and ham since 1960!
Decades later, I’m on a mission to undo all of his hard work because I know the terrible truth… Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 0.5 kabooms, horror, movie
Tagged Best Worst Movie, Black Emanuelle, Christina Reynolds, Claudio Fragasso, Connie Young, Darren Ewin, David McConnell, Deborah Reed, Don Packard, Dr. Seuss, Emanuelle, Farmer Waits, Filmirage, Gary Carlson, George Hardy, Glenn Gerner, Go Green, goblin, Goblins, Green Eggs and Ham, Jason Wright, Lance C. Williams, Laura Gemser, Margo Prey, Michael Stephenson, Michele Abrams, Michelle Abrams, milk, molotov cocktail, Naked Gun, Nilbog, OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, PG-13, Robert Ormsby, Rossella Drudi, Sam-I-Am, Troll, Troll 2, Wood Tales Girl, Worst movie lines, Worst movie lines ever, Worst movie scenes ever
8 Comments
1990: The Bronx Warriors- Just Look at that Freakin’ Cover!
Just look at the freakin’ cover for this film and tell me it doesn’t look amazing! Having now seen it, I can say that it does live up to the amazingness promised by the cover, although whether it’s amazing in … Continue reading
Posted in 1.5 kabooms, action, Independent, movie, R-rated, science fiction, So Bad They're Good
Tagged 1990 The Bronx Warriors, 1990: The Bronx Warriors plot, action, action chick, Action Flick Chick, Christopher Connelly, Enzo Castellari, Fred Williamson, Marco De Gregorio, Mark Gregory, Massimo Vanni, movie, post-apocalyptic, R-rated, Stefania Girolami Goodwin, The Bronx Warriors ending, The Bronx Warriors spoilers, Vic Morrow, violence, zombies
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Home Alone (1990)
It is fun to just go back to your childhood sometimes where every older sibling is a mortal enemy and a hero, and where you have at least one neighbor who is the friendly neighborhood sidewalk salter and for sure the friendly neighborhood mass murderer. Good times. Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 0.5 kabooms, Christmas, comedy, family, movie, PG-rated
Tagged Christmas, Daniel Stern, Home Alone, Joe Pesci, Macauly Culkin
2 Comments
Red Dawn (1984): Avenging Before the Avengers Made It Cool
Wow! Red Dawn is a MANLY MOVIE! A group of boys (and 2 girls) have to grow up super fast when their town is ambushed by another country. They have to hide in the woods, kill their own food, sleep in the wilderness, scrounging for supplies to survive. Continue reading
Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, Christmas, movie, PG-13
Tagged action, Aqua Teen Hunger Froce, C. Thomas Howell, Charlie Sheen, conservative, Cuban, guerrilla warfare, Guinness Book of World Records, Harry Dean Stanton, Herbie the Love Bug, Jennifer Grey, John Milius, Kevin Reynolds, Lea Thompson, Meatwad, Patrick Swayze, PG-13, Rambo, red dawn, Saving Private Ryan, Scrubs, Soviets, survival, Valkyrie Films, violence, Wolverines, World War III
6 Comments