Category Archives: * all movie reviews *

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996): Kiss Me Charly One More Time

Merry Christmas, kids! Your mom is a trained assassin and can snap a guy’s neck with one hand while baking a pie with the other. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3.5 kabooms, action, Christmas, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021): This Milkshake Brings All the Endangered Children to the Yard

Why do so many badass action ladies get saddled with a kid to take care of? Let’s discuss.

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Ebony, Ivory, & Jade (1976): ’70s Action-sploitation, Now with Less Exploitation!

Machete Maidens Unleashed!, a truly awesome documentary on the wild exploitation films made in the Philippines, highlighted the film Ebony, Ivory, & Jade. So, of course I had to watch it.

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 3 kabooms, action, movie, PG-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The One (2001): Jet Li in the Multiverse of Mediocrity

Way before everyone and their gramma and their alt-universe gramma were doing multiverse movies, Jet Li co-starred alongside himself in The One. As it turns out, the only person who could really challenge Jet Li… is Jet Li.

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Fight of Fury (2020): All Right, All Right, All Right

Like The Room and Fateful Findings, Fight of Fury boasts a quadruple-threat creative force with writer/director/producer/star Shuny Bee, and this film is about as intentionally successful as The Room and Fateful Findings before it. All right!

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Blade: Trinity (2004): Blade and His Amazing Friends

THE HUMAN RACE HAS BEEN SAVED! You can breathe a little easier, and go back to your normal routines without having to worry about vampires sneaking around trying to drink your blood. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 5 kabooms, action, horror, movie, R-rated, superhero | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Woman King (2022): Heavy Is the Head (Til It’s Decapitated)

Being a soldier in any army no doubt requires some serious bravery. Surviving to become a middle aged/older soldier means that someone’s not only brave, but skilled and more than a little lucky. In The Woman King, Nanisca (Viola Davis) … Continue reading

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Cyborg (1989): Lots of Questions, Not Much Cyborg

One of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s earliest films, Cyborg features splits, kicks, and staring contests. A little known skill of Van Damme’s, he sometimes challenges the enemy to a staring contest, and sometimes he stares off into the void as if … Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 2.5 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment