Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009) – With Wrong Turn 4 Bonus Plot |

Boobs within 4 minutes, action within 4 minutes, lots of blood and guts, and all sorts of diabolical traps…now this is my kind of movie! Wrong Turn 3 has all of the aforementioned items plus creative kills, an insane plot, mediocre acting, and a complete lack of common sense amongst all of the characters…what could be more fun?

Declan O’Brien directed Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead. The plot is exactly as he described to me when I interviewed him earlier this year: A bus load of cons runs off the road in the middle of the woods. The cons meet up with Janet Montgomery (Alex), and they spend the whole movie trying to find their way out of the woods while being hunted by Three Finger (Borislav lliev), a mutant cannibal that has appeared in all three Wrong Turns. Just so everyone knows, Alex did not kick as much butt as I was hoping for; however, she does kick some butt which is better than none I suppose.

Wrong Turn 3 is the kind of movie that is so bad it’s good, the kind of movie that exhibits absolutely no logical thinking from the characters and has really ridiculous situations, but it’s such fun to watch. Isn’t the main reason most people watch movies is to escape real life and be entertained? Well this is nothing like real life, so mission accomplished. I mean, you’ve got a mutant cannibal who just doesn’t seem to die. I also noticed in this flick that Three Finger is a face toucher! His hands were all over Nate’s (Tom Frederic) face. Maybe he can tell the future by touching people’s faces! “Hmmm…. I will be eating this face in about 25 minutes.”

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead was stupid fun. It had some decent action from all the fights between the cons themselves and then with Three Finger. The behind the scene special feature was really interesting as well. It went over how they did a lot of the stunts. If you like the first 2 Wrong Turns, this is a good one to pick up. If you love stupid, so bad it’s good flicks, then this is a good one to pick up.

Now, are you ready to have your socks rocked off by my plot for the sequel? You know there’s going to be a Wrong Turn 4, and honestly, I’ll be a little sad if there isn’t. So here’s your story for the next one, Declan.

Action Flick Chick’s Plot for Wrong Turn 4: Two years later, Three Finger’s identical twin (yes, completely identical down to every mutated inch) and his gang come out of his neck of the woods to get revenge for his brother’s death. Montgomery, turned hard ass police chief after her big ordeal, is investigating a disappearance in the same woods she was hunted in not too long ago. A group of choir singers are also in the woods collecting moss for God, and happen to take a wrong turn. After most of the choir group gets killed off by Three Finger’s twin, there are only a few left – the hero guy (Steve Buscemi), the kick-ass chick (Action Flick Chick), and a couple of other guys who are just going to die anyway. They all meet up with Montgomery and explain what has happened…and then they go on the hunt. In the end, you have two women (me and Montgomery) kicking the asses of mutant cannibals in order to rescue their friend the hero guy (Buscemi). But wait, there’s a twist! The real Three Finger cannibal isn’t dead!!! Now you’ve got a cannibal for each girl to kill. Of course, you still have to leave yourself open for Wrong Turn 5 so the girls can take the head of each cannibal and keep it on their mantle, so when their bodies come looking for their heads in the 5^th one, the girls will know about it, and you’ve got yourself a 5^th installment of Wrong Turn.

Alternative Title: “Capture the Gun!” There is a huge amount of time watching the cons knock each other out and swap possession of 3 guns.

Time Until Action Begins: ~4 minutes

Best Line: “I know I’m a redneck, but a bow and f***ing arrow? Who does that?” Note: There wasn’t a lot in the way of awesome lines, so I had to make do with what was given to me.

Biggest Lapse in Judgment: We see this error time and time again, but how else would you have sequels if everyone abided by this rule: THE DOUBLE TAP. Alex and Nate have staked the cannibal in the gut and declare him to be dead. However, they just got him once, and then decided there was no reason to double tap this Wolverine powered cannibal. Well, SURPRISE! Three Finger comes back for round 486. I mean, come on! I just watched Three Finger get shot several times, sliced with a knife repeatedly and yet he kept on going. Then, the back of his knee gets sliced open and he gets a stake rammed through his abdomen…what in your history together makes you think getting impaled will kill a mutant cannibal? Apparently, it won’t. So, he gets up and goes back for more. He must get Wolverine Powers from eating people (and don’t you go off eating people and telling the cops that I said it would give you Wolverine’s powers. That doesn’t happen in real life, ya weirdo.) He attacks with full force, like a 14-year-old boy raging with hormones. There is no hint of a limp or a “tummy ache” anywhere. That’s either completely ridiculous or he has a mutant healing factor.

Best Kill: One of the cons gets bullied into checking out the mysterious “abandoned” tow truck in the woods. As he approaches the truck, Three Finger sits up in the cab and pulls a lever. Barbed wire attached to the back of the tow truck springs up from the ground wrapping itself around the con and tightens to the point that it is embedding in his skin. Ooooooooh, ouch. Then Three Finger drives off dragging a bundle of barbed wire screaming con behind his truck. Eeesh!

Best Explosion: Woo hoo! There were actually two explosions! The best one would have to be the bus that the cons were on at first, was run off the road by Three Finger. The bus rolled down a big hill, and of course, if a bus flips over it will automatically explode in real life so it must explode in a movie. The good guy cops were just escaping the ticking time bomb when it exploded and knocked them down. It was a really good explosion mainly because they really blew up the bus. You can almost feel the heat from the bus sitting on your couch.

Action Rating: 3 Wrong Turns/Right Turns, out of 5