Action Flick Chick

Posted By Action Flick Chick on May 4, 2009

Did you know that the wolverine, aka Gulo gulo, is the largest land-dwelling species of the weasel family and is a very stocky and muscular animal? This whole time I was under the impression that it was something with adamantium for a skeleton and could heal quickly (or instantly depending on your source). Oh yeah, and I thought that the wolverine was a member of the homo sapiens superior species, not the weasel family. Well maybe I thought all of this because the latter is the only Wolverine that matters! All other “wolverines” fail in comparison.

This Wolverine is who we have all come to know and love! People love him so much that he got his own movie about his beginnings, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. That is the true test that tells us who is the real Wolverine, not those pansy animals. I don’t see a movie titled: Barney the Wolverine Crosses the River. But HUGH freakin’ JACKMAN has his own movie and he’s rockin’ faces off across the globe.

Hugh Jackman returns to reprise his role as Wolverine for the fourth time in Wolverine. He’s back, he’s bigger, and he’s a lot more buff. A lot. So buff that even men are looking at Jackman and saying, “Holy shiitake mushrooms he’s huge!” Action Flick Chick likes this very much. Ladies, and some men, if for no other reason, go see Wolverine just for the eye candy.

Wolverine has a lot of great elements. For starters, it has Ryan Reynolds. Reynolds provides some quick-paced, verbose comedy, as he usually does in any movie he’s in. Wolverine also has a great amount of action. The kind of action you’re not likely to see anywhere else. I mean, it’s not in every movie that you see Liev Schreiber running on all fours like an animal and going berserk or a guy with claws coming out of his hands slicing up ridiculously strong things like a helicopter.

The only problem with a prequel is that you know how it’s going to end for most of the major characters, and you pretty much know who is going to die. So there is really not a lot of surprise there. People die and you kind of expect it because they didn’t make an appearance in X-Men.

There are two things I wanted to see more of: Ryan Reynolds and blood. I love to laugh and Reynolds has a very high success rate at doing that.

I feel like a girl in a candy store! Yum yum.

And I love to see the gore that goes along with fighting and Wolverine shows hardly any. By hardly any I mean when people are getting stabbed multiple times there is no blood, not even on the device stabbing them. I know it’s PG-13, and movies don’t always have to be gory, but come on, throw me a freakin’ bone here and put a little blood in there somewhere.

Also, there are some inconsistencies with the comic book, like who Logan’s father is, but pure movie goers won’t notice and maybe the comic readers can (hopefully) look past it this time. Wolverine is very enjoyable, it’s got a lot of action, and lets you watch Jackman as Wolverine in action one more time which is always worth it. I actually don’t want to spoil too much of this flick so I’m keeping the following pretty short.

Time until initial action starts: ~ 2 minutes

Time until the real action starts: ~ 4 minutes

Big bad baddies: Anyone that doesn’t answer to the name Wolverine.

Best Line: “He’s got his own ass coming out the front of his shirt.”

Best Explosion: Wolverine is inside a barn and the baddies are outside trying to get him. They shoot the barn with a missile and the screen lights up with flames…and then you see Wolverine burst out of the flames on a motorcycle. Mmmm, tasty!

Action Rating: 4 nekkid Hugh Jackmans jumping off a waterfall, out of 5

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.

Categories: * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, PG-13, action, science fiction, superhero
Tags: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schrieber, Marvel Comics, Partial Nudity, Ryan Reynolds, superhero, violence, Wolverine, X-men