ThanksKilling (2009): Just add alcohol!

If ThanksKilling doesn’t make you say “WTF?” at least 10 times, I don’t know what will. I’m just going to come out and say it: Thankskilling is bad, bad, bad. How bad was it? It was so bad that I thought it was my lucky day when it ended after only 66 minutes. So bad that, despite how short it was, I still had to fast-forward through about half of it just to survive.

ThanksKilling is about an ancient evil turkey that was brought back to life because a dog peed on its grave (nope, not a joke). Now the evil turkey is terrorizing five young college students on their way home for Thanksgiving, and they must find a way to kill this invincible evil turkey before they all die. The first image of ThanksKilling is a close up shot of a nipple which then pans out to show a pilgrim woman running with her breasts hanging out. Epic win, right? Wrong! Don’t be fooled by the film’s opening. There are no more boobs after that and the movie just does some weird stuff. A couple of WTF moments include evil turkey/human sex and an idiot mistaking the evil turkey for her father! WTF? There were some pretty disgusting kills (yay), but other than that, the action wasn’t there.

I believe the film was trying to be bad, but in a funny way; however, I wasn’t laughing. At all. And I came in hoping for a so-bad-it’s-good kind of film, but what I got was a so-bad-it’s-awful kind of film. Now, just because I wasn’t laughing doesn’t mean you won’t either (there’s a high probability that you won’t but I do know people who liked ThanksKilling). If you really love to watch crappy movies, you might like this one. If you are brave enough to try this film, I suggest watching it with a ton of people. Also, I usually do not promote drinking alcohol, but this time I’m saying, “Screw it!” Those of you who are of legal age: Having a little alcohol available can only make the movie better (drink responsibly :)). ThanksKilling: the movie that’s only good when drunk. Maybe.

Time Until Action Starts: ~ 5 minutes
Baddie: An evil turkey!
Best Line: “Gobble, gobble, mother f***er!”
Best Kill: The stereotypical fat, redneck guy is walking around trying to find food (because all fat people are obsessed with food, right?). The evil turkey makes himself into some kind of illusion, so that the guy thinks he’s a big juicy good turkey. Guy ingests the illusion whole. And by doing that he actually ingested the evil turkey and shot gun. Evil turkey blows a hole through the guy’s stomach from within and bursts his way out of his stomach, killing poor fat redneck.
Action Rating: ½ evil Thanksgiving day treats, out of 5.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Make sure your turkey is really dead and not an illusion before you take it home and eat it.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

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