Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Posted By Action Flick Chick on March 22, 2010
Do you often wonder what would happen if your bed became possessed by a demon and started eating people? I know I do. I have spent many a sleepless night haunted by this unanswered question for years. That is until I saw Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Previously, I’ve never been able to form a trusting relationship with my bed for fear that it will suddenly try to eat me. And now I know it’s true! Beds do eat people! And I bet that the dryer myth is true too! Dryers do eat socks and I bet they have eaten a few people in their day too. Everyone beware the upcoming sequel! Death Dryer: The Dryer That Eats You and Your Socks!
WTF? The title of this film alone is ridiculous and awesome at the same time. This film is atrocious. It’s awful, bad, bad, bad, bad! It’s terrible so that I had a lot of fun while watching it, but I will never watch it again. It’s almost a rite of passage though. You have to see this at least once, just so you know what it’s like.
It’s a bed…and it eats people. That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Oh wait! There’s a man stuck inside a painting as well that keeps all kinds of souvenirs from Death Bed’s victims. This is not a joke, and the director-producer-and-writer doesn’t think it’s a joke either. There was one point when I thought the whole film might have been making a joke. That moment was when Death Bed got an upset “stomach” from eating so many people and fried chicken, and it decides to ingest a bottle of Pepto Bismol. However, on the DVD there is commentary from the director-producer-and-writer George Barry stating that he was being very serious when he made this film. Wow! That is all I can say. Wow!
Time Until Death Bed Gets It’s Nom Nom On: ~ 9 minutes
Baddies: Death Bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best Line: “You’re nothing if you’re not grotesque, but hungry of course.”
Best Kill: A girl gets sucked into Death Bed. Somehow she manages to pull herself out of Death Bed’s grasp and crawls toward the door trying to escape. She crawls for literally nearly 10 minutes. Nothing but her crawling and whining for 10 minutes! Right when she gets the door open, Death Bed reaches out with the sheet, grabs her and pulls her underneath the bed to eat her. Why did it take 10 minutes! Why did we need to see her crawl for 10 minutes!?! At that point I was glad to see the girl die. Enough with the crawling and moaning already! This is definitely the movie’s Best Kill, and by Best Kill, I really meant Worst Kill.
Action Rating: ½ Death Beds gettin’ their Noms on, out of 5.
Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
Thanks, Jimmy Misanthrope, creator of The Vortex Machines, for bringing Death Bed: The Bed That Eats to this chick’s attention when we were discussing favorite bad movies.
Related post:
What Is the Best Worst Movie? With Best Worst Movie (2009) Documentarian & Troll 2 (1990) Star Michael Paul Stephenson
About The Author
That opening paragraph absolutely cracked me up!
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Somehow I missed seeing this movie….I probably went to Star Wars instead. Your review definitely made me not to want to see…EVER! ….and now I will probably have trouble getting to sleep tonight….I might just sleep on the couch.
This is probably my new favorite bad movie. The director has got to be a complete genius for managing to keep a straight face through the entire film. He must have really believed in it. I am trying to get the movie theater I work in to do a midnight showing.