Tag Archives: action

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) – Not a Weasel, and Not Worth Watching

Did you know that the wolverine, aka Gulo gulo, is the largest land-dwelling species of the weasel family and is a very stocky and muscular animal? Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, PG-13, science fiction, superhero | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Bloodsport (1988): You Just Got Van Dammed!

Oh, Snap! You Got Van Dammed! That’s what Bloodsport should be called because this ’80s action classic features Jean-Claude Van Damme kicking an astonishing amount of ass. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ong-Bak (2003): Who Needs a Budget When You’re This Good?

Certain situations call for certain action heroes. Daughter kidnapped by human traffickers? You call Bryan Mills. Office building taken over by terrorists? You call John McClane. The village statue of Ong-Bak gets defaced, decapitated, and deported off with a band of ruffians?

You call Ting. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 5 kabooms, action, movie, PG-13 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Commando (1985) Review: Arnold Schwarzenegger in Top Form for this Action Classic

In Commando, we have John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) single handedly taking down a metric butt-ton of people. How much is a metric butt-ton you ask? Oh, you’ll know when you see it. There’ll be a point in the movie where you’ll say to yourself “Man! He sure has killed a lot of people!” That, my friends, is a metric butt-ton moment. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4.5 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Fit to Kill (1993) Review: Not Fit to Watch

I thought I had a great idea when I decided to watch another Triple B Collection movie by Andy Sidaris. It turns out I was horribly wrong. Hard Ticket to Hawaii was so awesomely awful that I thought maybe Fit to Kill would follow in its steps, but I was wrong wrong wrong wrong. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 0.5 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Pale Rider (1985) with old timey manspeak translations

“3 hots and a cot is the least I owe you.” 

Pale Rider (1985), starring Clint Eastwood, comes chock full of old-timey sayings like the one above. The old-timey manspeak is so thick, in fact, you might want to bring a dictionary, or settle in and be ready for the ear puzzle of trying to translate what the hell these old-timey prospectors and gunslingers are talking about.  Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 0.5 kabooms, action, movie, PG-rated, Western | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Specialist (1994) review: Isn’t That Special

If you want to see a good action film, or even a mediocre action film, then don’t watch The Specialist. There are a few good things about this flick, like when the end credits start rolling. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 1.5 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Taken (2009) Don’t Cross Liam Neeson

I’m taking a brief reprieve from my “Chicks Who Don’t Need Flowers” series to review the new action movie Taken. Never has the expression “Don’t talk to strangers” ever been as true as it is in Taken. Continue reading

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, movie, PG-13 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments