UP FROM THE DEPTHS, THIRTY STORIES HIGH, BREATHING FIRE, HIS HEAD IN THE SKY! GODZILLA! GODZILLA! GODZILLA!
That’s right, Kaiju fans, Godzilla, The Big G, Gojira the Gorilla Whale… whatever you want to call him, he’s back, and he’s for real. Don’t expect Matthew Broderick or terrible ’90s CG to stink up Godzilla 2014— this is a true-blue Godzilla movie in every sense of the word.
The story here is largely irrelevant: some people run around ineffectively while two MUTOs, EMP-producing Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms, try to make some babies and Godzilla tries to stop them from wrecking everything on the planet. That’s right, just like a classic Toho-era Godzilla film, Godzilla’s the hero, here. Don’t come into this expecting Pacific Rim-level action, however, as director Gareth Edwards chose to really build up the drama of Godzilla, so it’s a long while before we get a good look at him. But when we do… wowzers! He looks freaking fantastic, staying incredibly loyal to his classic look while still glowing with the power of modern special effects. The MUTOs, too, are damn solid monsters. They look great, their EMP ability feels right at home alongside the weird powers of Mothra, Gamera, and other Toho Kaiju, and they exhibit some natural behaviors that give a little bit of reality to these otherwise unreal creatures.
I’m putting this pic of Godzilla vs. King-Kong (yeah, it’s a real movie) in here because I don’t want to spoil Big G’s awesome new look.
One thing that’s a bit disappointing is the amount we get to see Godzilla throw down with the two giant MUTOs. Don’t get me wrong, their fight is absolutely awesome, and well worth the price of admission, but the monster-on-monster fighting doesn’t happen until the final act of the movie! Most of the drama for the first hour and a half are from the MUTOs walking through cities looking for sources of radiation and knocking buildings over as they go. Though the MUTOs certainly aren’t as careful as Godzilla, most of the destruction they cause isn’t on purpose. Maybe if America would build roads that accommodate 1000-foot-tall creatures, we wouldn’t have a problem here. Still, watching the humans try to survive the MUTOs as they turn city after city into disaster areas, it doesn’t get your blood pumping like the monster-on-monster fights.
All in all, Godzilla is a fun, faithful film that harkens back to the core of the character in the best way possible. Be prepared to feel like a kid again.
Spoilers of Awesomeness Below! Seriously, go see the film before reading these!
Best Line: Ken Watanabe’s plan to deal with the rampaging Kaiju? “Let them fight.”
Best Godzilla Look: At one point, Godzilla does his signature tail swipe and implants one of the MUTOs into a building, and gives it the most “Eat it, bitch!” look I’ve ever seen.
Best Kill: As our human hero drives the nuclear bomb laden boat out away from San Francisco, Big Momma MUTO shows her angry, ugly face, homing in on our hapless homo sapien and readies herself to take a bite out of him when there’s a loud crack, and the monster freezes. The smoke clears and the camera pans out to reveal Godzilla’s jaws locked around Big Momma MUTO’s neck. He pulls it back, they struggle for a bit, and Godzilla finally gets tired of this MUTO’s radioactive ass, holds its mouth open and blasts a powerful stream of his signature blue atomic fire down its throat until its body explodes, leaving Godzilla standing there holding its decapitated head. How freakin’ awesome is that!?!
Action Rating: 2 ½ Godzookies, out of 5!
