Chick vs. Chuck: Action Flick Chuck Norris Facts #ActionFlickChUck

Earlier this week, twitter user @Quixote74 made a single joke in which he adapted a Chuck Norris joke, turning it into an Action Flick Chick joke.

@Quixote74: @actionchick Followers might wonder when you sleep. Others know better: she doesn’t sleep – she waits. #ActionFlickChuck [sic]

And Chick lovers soon went wild, generating many more such quips.

What do you mean, some of you don’t know Chuck Norris jokes? Where have you been? “Chuck Norris Facts” have been appearing on the Internet since at least 2005, things like “When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn’t lift himself up. He pushes the world down,” “Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries,” or “Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.”

* Chuck Norris Facts
* Chuck Norris Jokes

Read those jokes. We’ll still be here.

You’ve read Chuck’s jokes? Okay, so here’s some of what started popping up across twitter and Facebook.

*@JDahveed:  Behind Chuck Norris’ beard isn’t a chin, it’s @actionchick’s hoduken.

*@JohnVFerrigno: Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip, if @actionchick lets him.
** @actionchick: Regular or BBQ?

*@thepeterpixie: YOU kneel before ZOD. ZOD kneels before @actionchick #ActionFlickChuck

*@bltjesus:  Only @actionchick can make Chuck Norris cry. #ActionFlickChuck [sic]

*@BenOfAllTrades: @Actionchick has a to-die-for meat sauce for her spaghetti. The secret ingredient is Chuck Norris #ActionFlickChuck

*@madisun: @actionchick eats chuck norris for breakfast
*@madisun: chuck eats nails for bfast = tough as nails. @actionchick eat chuck for bfast = tough as chuck PLUS nails #actionflickchUck

*@PorkyPorkyPorky: Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo hides. @actionchick is why Waldo wants to come out of hiding. #ActionFlickChuck [sic]

@h101 Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones w/ 1 but that bird is @actionchick, and she survives! #ActionFlickChuck

*@reddiesteady: Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird. @actionchick was the bird but didn’t need Chuck’s help. #ActionFlickChuck [sic]

*@Quixote74: @actionchick There’s no upper lip under @actionchick’s Mario mustache, only the secret of whether she’s @G4tv’s next Woman of the Web

*@NerdSalad: And on the 7th day, @actionchick said, “Let there be action movies!” and it was so. #ActionFlickChuck

*@RocketLlama: @actionchick’s pizza topping: Killer Tomatoes. #ActionFlickChuck [sic]
** @thepeterpixie: Maybe as sauce but meat she killed herself

*@RocketLlama: Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. @actionchick doesn’t need the pillow. #ActionFlickChuck [sic]

*@RocketLlama: If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, then @actionchick has $10 if she wants it. #ActionFlickChUck [sic]

*@Shadowbat: @actionchick I still think your bare-handed caribou killing ability tops anything Chuck Norris has to offer

*@Shadowbat: @heyherbert She doesn’t sleep. Her Action Flick Chick Army takes tuns winding up her key

*@Shadowbat: Forget Chuck. @actionchick reminds me of a line in a Sir Mixalot song, “Met Clint Eastwood slapped his mama!” #ActionFlickChUck [sic}

*@SHADOWCOMMANDO: @actionchick His roundhouse kick is better then your hoduken nuff said #ActionFlickChuck 🙂
** @actionchick    Which should you fear more? http://3.ly/GvsC
*@SHADOWCOMMANDO: @actionchick A fire ball is scarier then a kick but I am not changing my mind.#ActionFlickChuck
** @PotatoFilm: Sorry @SHADOWCOMMANDO but Chuck is looking long in the tooth. Gotta go with @actionchick and her sweet hadouken http://3.ly/GvsC
**@Quixote74: @actionchick Always be more afraid of a Road House chick (http://snipurl.com/tlmul) than a roundhouse kick. #ActionFlickChuck
*@redridinghood83: @actionchick lol at roundhouse kick hahahahah

*@shaneandrew82: @actionchick Kids wear Superman PJs, Superman wears Chuck Norris PJs, Chuck Norris wears @actionchick PJs #ActionFlickChuck

*@shaneandrew82:  The Boogieman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris checks under his bed for @actionchick #ActionFlickChuck
** @quicksilverwest: re: “CN” checks under bed, finds “AC” <-laughing so hard-> #toofun

* @Quixote74: Chuck Norris can stitch up his own wounds. Action Flick Chick makes her enemies bleed.

*@Quixote74: @actionchick Looks like I started a meta-meme this afternoon – already Monday and I can call it a productive week!

*@shaneandrew82: Chuck Norris got his driver’s license when he was 16 seconds old. @actionchick got hers 16 weeks before she was born #ActionFlickChuck
** @actionchick: Test was hard on my Mom.

*@bltjesus:  Chuck Norris wishes he could take credit for starting @actionchick jokes. #ActionFlickChUck [sic]

* @xxxorion: @actionchick sounds like you got Chuck Norris in check lmao

Special credit must go to Evan Zebley (@Zeblue_Prime) who cranked out all these at home while eating a chicken pot pie.

*  Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open … only if Action Chick is in his line of sight.
* There are only three things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, Chuck Norris and Action Chick’s wit.
* Chuck Norris can divide by zero … but only because Action Chick is there to put the universe back together.
* In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris. In a fight between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, the winner would be Action Chick.
* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after reading a DeltaForce review by Action Chick.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is afraid to live without Action Chick.
* Seriously… these are endless.
* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down. Action Chick is pushing it back up.
* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door, and, likewise, open one … for Action Chick.
* Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to walk past Action Chick’s house to get to Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris is currently suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you… unless you’re near Action Chick.
* Action Chick movie trivia: The movie Invasion U.S.A. is, in fact, a documentary.
* Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day. Action Chick destroyed it with one hidokin.
* When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult … on Action Chick’s honor.
* Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of Clear Eyes. Ben Stein learned to relabel the bottle after a word with Action Chick.
* Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Action Chick doesn’t sleep.
*Action Chick always has two guns with her. Did you bring your tickets?
* There’s not a chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard, it’s just Action Chick.
* Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris. Behind Chuck Norris is Action Chick.
* When Chuck Norris says “More cowbell”, he MEANS it. When Action Chick says “More cowbell”, she GETS it.

Addendum

A few more of these popped up when someone raised the topic again a year later.

* @Jacob_Pickthall: What do u get when you cross Chuck Norris and Action Flick Chick? Nothing. No one crosses Action Flick Chick. #actionflickchuck

* @Dalanna23: The boogeyman looks for Chuck Norris in his closet. Chuck Norris looks for Action Chick in his

* @deepdarkred: @actionchick But, in all fairness you are to cool to be in Chuck Norris’s closet 😉

* @TheDCD: If @actionchick kicks you in the stomach, you’ll barely muster enough strength to thank her before you collapse in awesomeness. #actionchick

For the Action Flick Chick, you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
And apparently so has Chuck Norris.