Category Archives: * all movie reviews *

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Takes a Dookie on Duke

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Beware spoilers below. Does anyone else feel like Hasbro likes to fling poop in the faces of their long time fans? The most recent Transformers trilogy spiraled into a massive abyss of crap, Battleship was no bueno, the Transfomers animated … Continue reading

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K-11 Film Review: What the What!?!

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What do you get when you combine transsexuals, homosexuals, and one rapist prison guard? The new film directed by Jules Stewart (Kristen Stewart’s mother), K-11, that’s what. In Stewart’s directorial debut we have a record producer, Raymond Saxx Jr ( … Continue reading

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SXSW 2013: Evil Dead (2013): Dark, Dead, and Disgusting

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Here we have another remake. While Evil Dead is one of the best remakes out there, it’s still a remake- an unoriginal idea aping an earlier work brimming with originality. Stop me if you’ve heard this plot before: “Five friends … Continue reading

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Review: A Good Day to Die Hard

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Hollywood should either get John McTiernan, Jeb Stuart, and Steven de Souza back, or leave the Die Hard franchise alone. These men are the masterminds behind the original film, and while no-one is likely to fully recapture its magic, I’m … Continue reading

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Review: Bullet to the Head

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Bullet to the Head, starring my main squeeze Sylvester Stallone, follows the typical action movie formula and ends up being a good, but not excellent, action flick (It hurts me to say that about anything with Stallone in it). Stallone’s … Continue reading

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Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

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The original “Hansel and Gretel” fairy tale was not a very pleasant story, nor was it uplifting. It was about parents purposefully trying to abandon their children in the woods so that they wouldn’t have to feed them. Hansel & … Continue reading

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Review: The Last Stand (2013)

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Here’s a life lesson the audience can learn from The Last Stand: always be nice to your neighbors, because you never know when they might just save your life. This goes for the elderly as well. If there’s a heavily … Continue reading

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Review: Django Unchained- Chain Yourselves in, Lads, it’s a Good One!

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Django Unchained is one juicy mother of a movie, and I’d expect no less from writer/director Quentin Tarantino. If you like Tarantino’s style of wild and thoughtful film-making, you’re sure to love this one. Django is violent, extremely bloody, and … Continue reading

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