Rob Zombie’s Halloween II 2009 (Spoiler Free!)

This review is spoiler free. I don’t go into much detail at all, honestly. Now, if you’re looking for spoilers, or if you’ve already seen Halloween II, then you can read the Spoiler filled review of the movie I’ll be posting tomorrow.

Wow! You know what I think? I think it would really suck to be a Myers. It just seems like you don’t stand a chance. You are either killed really young by your younger brother/child, or stalked for years and go crazy from seeing the horrifying murders that your brother intended to be you. I know family reunions are usually bad for everyone, but I think Laurie Strode wins the worst family award. At least the Myers family doesn’t have to worry about renting a big room, or RSVPing, or even having it catered because everyone else is dead. It’s just Michael and Laurie. I’m glad he still makes time to see Laurie. You can just see the real family love in all the stalking and “I’m going to kill you” stuff that happens. It’s quite the family film.

Dee doo doo dee doo doo dee doo

The plot of Rob Zombie’s Halloween II centers around a young girl named Laurie Strode. (FYI, If you don’t know this already, which you should, she is Michael Myers baby sister. DUM DUM DUM!) This flick starts off with a bang. In the beginning, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is running from Michael in the hospital setting while he is killing freaking everyone. She does manage to escape but I won’t tell you how.  So then, Laurie spends the whole movie having awful nightmares until she meets up with Michael again for the final showdown.

Halloween II had a lot of action…a lot of murders. It also made me jump a few times so I am going to say job well done, Rob Zombie. It is exactly what you expect from a slasher movie, lots of gore and a super strong killer that no one can take down but his sister, yet it deviates from the other 1981 Halloween II plot enough to keep it interesting. There were some problems with the lighting of the movie for me, though. It was really dark at times and I had no idea what I was looking at or how ol’ Mikey was killing, or who he was killing, for that matter. But oh, well. What are ya going to do?

Time until action: ~ 8 minutes.

Baddies: I am not going to spell it out right here. Even though I say it above and even my cat knows who the baddie is in the Halloween franchise.

Best Line: “When I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.” Ooooh, finally a Dr. Loomis I can get behind.

Best Kill: This recipient of this award is none other than Michael Myers, but I won’t spoil the who and how of his kill for you. This is, after all, the spoiler free review.

Best Explosion: Halloween II is completely lacking in this area.

Action Rating: 3 ½ Conveniently Camouflaging Trees, out of 5

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!