The Walking Dead Season 3 Premiere! “Seed”

The Walking Dead return! AMC’s hit show, and TV’s only post-zombie-apocalypse show starring Norman Reedus, is back, and things are crazier than ever. The end of season two gave us an incredible finale, with zombies getting chopped up, people getting bitten, and the survivors all baring their teeth at each other. Season 3’s premiere episode, “Seed”, has us picking up several months after the events of season 2. This was an episode chock full of creepy, zombie-killing goodness and not much jibber-jabber between the survivors— just the way I like it. But, before we go any further, let’s check in with Dale to see how his summer’s been.

It’s been a great summer, Action Chick, a great summer for sure. Spent most of m’time whistle fishing (that’s where you catch fish by whistling at them) and teaching myself to play the guitar. Funny thing is, I can’t seem to get a grip on my guitar like I used to. Maybe it’s just my age…

Maybe it’s the fact that you died in season 2, and now yer a ghost hanging ’round and haunting these reviews.

YOU GIT, SHANE, YOU JUST GIT ON OUTTA HERE! Ain’t nobody a ghost around here ‘cept you! Anyway, Action Chick, what was I saying? Oh yeah, let me tell you about the time Elizabeth Montgomery and I made love for over fifteen hours in a parked ice cream truck. If it wasn’t for the energy those ice cream sandwiches gave me I probably would have died of exhaustion.

Okay, well that’s all the time we have for Dale this week. Let’s check out what happened in this week’s episode!

After a long winter, we find our survivors tired, beat down, and older. Carl’s getting taller, Hershel got beardier, and Lori’s looking ready to pop. After a very tense, very quiet sequence of the survivors looking through an old house to scavenge supplies, Carl finds some dog food for everyone to eat. For some reason, Rick gets pissed at the dog food and throws it in the fireplace, and then T-Dog lets out a psst to let the group know that a horde of zombies is closing in. The group packs into their surprisingly nice cars and gets the heck out of there.

Oh, and during this scavenger hunt, Daryl makes friends with an owl, then eats him.

Later, he and Rick stumble across an abandoned prison, and Rick gets the bright idea to secure it so the survivors have a place to stay. The group start clearing out the zombies, using magic guns that don’t seem to have any recoil to them. Eventually, they clear the main yard and camp out there for the night, during which we are treated to three things:

1. Some stupid singing from Hershel’s daughters.

2. Rick and Lori having a fight because that’s what they do. Still, as far as fights go, this was one of their more interesting ones.

3. Carol telling Daryl that her “arm is sore” and asking for a massage. Carol, you sultry minx, we all know what you’re up to.

In the morning, the core group of badasses (Rick, Glen, Daryl, Maggie, and T-Dog) go deeper into the prison, hacking up zombies with melee weapons. Eventually, some zombies in SWAT armor show up and prove difficult to kill. With them also comes a zombie in a gas mask, who shall henceforth be referred to as Zombane.

Perhaps he’s wondering why you would shoot a zombie before throwing him out of a prison?

Zombane and the SWAT Zombies (great name for a band, by the way) go down eventually, and everyone celebrates. T-Dog even lets out a triumphant Woo and later talks about water. Three lines for T-Dog in one episode? Walking Dead, you spoil us.

Everyone moves inside the prison and claims different rooms for their own. Carl even tries to bunk with Hershel’s younger daughter Betsy, but loses his nerve under the watchful gaze of Daddy Hershel.

Meanwhile, Andrea (remember her?) is sick, and being taken care of by zombie-fighting badass extraordinaire Michonne, who goes around with her katana and two armless, jawless, chained zombie pets, kicking ass. Michonne dispatches some zombies with a ninja ruthlessness that would make Batman blush, then she and Andrea decide that they should leave town.

Back at the prison, Lori is afraid her baby is dead, and that it’s going to zombify and attack her from within, also that both her husband and her son can’t stand her because of her being the indirect cause of Shane’s death. What’s this tingling sensation I’m feeling? Am… am I starting to care about Lori? No, couldn’t be. Team Badass sweeps out to clear the rest of the prison, and, for some reason, they bring Hershel along, and he promptly gets bitten on the leg. Team Badass holes up in a mess hall to avoid the wandering crowd of zombies. To stop the spread of the infection, Rick hacks off Hershel’s leg with a hatchet, and it’s frigging gross. After he’s done with that we find out that there are other people in the prison, living people.

Likes

• The quiet, creepy opening sequence.
• Daryl being a badass, as always, and eating his owl buddy.
• All the zombie fighting! Yes, please! I like this new mantra of “more bang bang bang, less blah blah blah.”
• Carol’s not-so-subtle attempt to hit on Daryl. Get your Carol/Daryl fan fiction ready, folks!
• Michonne taking out zombies, ninja style.
• Glen spray-painting arrows on the walls. I know it was so they could find their way through the prison, but it made Glen look like a little hoodlum.
• The thought of Lori having a creepy zombie baby.
• Hershel getting his leg cut off. GROSS!

Dislikes

• The Hershel girls’ musical interlude. No. Thank. You. Throw some beats up in that tune, dubstep it up.
• That’s all! This was a really good episode.