The Walking Dead 3-13: Sock on the Doorknob

Rick (Andrew Lincoln) is ready to negotiate… Dirty Harry style.

There are only three episodes left in season three of The Walking Dead after last night’s “Arrow On the Doorpost.” War is brewing between Woodbury and Rick’s Rebels, and the dam will be bursting soon enough. If you check The Walking Dead’s track record regarding its season finales, you’ll know that one of the main characters is going to die, and that scares the poopy-pants right off of me. I don’t want any of Rick’s Rebels to die! Not even Beth, Carol, or Merle… well, okay. Maybe Merle.

But, before we get to the recap, let’s check in with Dale.

Dale, you all right, man? Haven’t seen you in a few days.

I got him this time, Shane. I got a rope trap set up with some bait to catch that raccoon. I tell ya, he’s gonna regret the day he messed with Dale Horvath.

That’s your last name?

What? Yeah, it’s Horvath.

That’s a weird name, man.

Oh, hush and help me watch the trap.

(Four hours pass)

Shane, wake up! We must’ve fallen asleep.

Huh?

(Unintelligible raccoon noises)

Run, Shane! He got into my fruit roll-ups and he’s brought friends!

Thanks, Dale. Now onward, to the recap!

In “Arrow on the Doorpost,” Rick and The Governor meet, sniff each other’s butts and size each other up, all while The Gov lies through his teeth. Andrea was kind enough to set up the peace negotiations, and gets a thank you in the form of being completely ignored, talked over, and kicked out by the two men. The Gov- the man she believes in so whole- heartedly, just kicked her out on her ass like she was a one dollar hooker. After the constant stream of lies and abuse from him, it finally starts to set in with Andre that The Gov may not be such a great guy, and she confides in Hershel with, ““I don’t know what I’m doing here.” What? Could this be? Could she have FINALLY realized she belongs with Rick’s Rebels because Gv is a douche!?! Nope, not yet at least. She may have considered making a change, but in the end she leaves with The Gov to go back to Woodbury. Again.

The negotiations of the peace treaty get just as much accomplished as you’d expect from something organized by Andrea. Rick tries to cooperate, suggesting they divide up the land and no one crosses the borders. The Gov counters that the only thing he’s looking for is unconditional surrender. In the end, The Gov offers to let Rick’s Rebels live at the prison, unbothered if he hands over Michonne. They decide to give it two days before making a decision and return to their homes. He’s lying, of course, but the man’s a master liar. He could BS his way into a midgets only circus group.

The Governor (David Morrissey) stares down Rick.

The whole time these two are talking the entire audience is probably screaming at Rick not to believe The Gov, and to but a bullet in his head. When the groups reach their respective homes, The Gov immediately orders that all of Rick’s Rebels be killed on sight, except for Michonne, who is to be brought in alive so he can torture the bajeezus out of her. Rick tells his group that The Gov wants a war and doesn’t even mention the Michonne part. Yay! This may lead you to believe that he was wearing goggles to deflect The Governor’s crap-flinging, but then he goes and tells Hershel the real deal in hopes that the wise man can talk him out of accepting it. No, Rick! Don’t be a fool!

In other news, Maggie and Glenn make up and do it! We see the beginning of a bromance form between Hershel and Milton, Daryl shows off his badassness and bonds with The Governor’s head lackey, and Merle stirs up trouble.

Likes:

• The Gov and Rick don’t even pretend to listen to Andrea.
• Rick telling his rebels that The Gov wants a war instead of telling them about giving up Michonne.
• Daryl showing off his bow and knife skills against the zombies.
• Maggie and Glenn bumping goodies

Dislikes:

• Rick considering turning over Michonne.
• Things have been a little to talking-oriented lately on TWD. Let’s mix it up with some violence next week, shall we?

Last week’s recap.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

(Dale’s Deeds by Alex Langley)