I can’t resist a Sylvester Stallone film. Dude is 76 and still starring in action movies like he’s 30. In his 50 plus year career as an actor, he’s played more leading heroes than most actors could ever dream of, but never a superhero. Enter Samaritan (2022).
In short, a 13 year old kid, Sam (Javon ‘Wanna’ Walton), believes his neighbor, Joe Smith (Slyvester Stallone) is the infamous superhero Samaritan thought to have died 25 years ago. The film opens with a summary of what could be a whole movie itself all shoved into a few minutes of prologue- the origin and ending of Nemesis and Samaritan- two brothers with super strength and near invincibility. Life things happen that turn the brothers against each other and they fight it out until they both supposedly die in a power plant explosion. Years later, Sam believes Samaritan is still alive and is obsessed with finding him. Why? Because he’s a 13 year old fanboy who loves superheroes, and Samaritan and Nemesis were based in his home city. Meanwhile, another (adult) fanboy, Cyrus (Pilou Asbaek), loves Nemesis so much he wants to finish what Nemesis set out to do- destroy their city and kill Samaritan.
The first two thirds of the film depicts the reluctantly-blooming friendship between Joe and 13-year-old fanboy Sam, with a few small moments of action here and there. Walton acts his ass off as Sam, crushing the role with his gushing enthusiasm and excitement. He holds his own against a cinematic veteran like Stallone, so I found even the predictable, non-actiony portions of the film still enjoyable.
Stallone has a history of playing action heroes with unparalleled skills, but as Joe he’s playing someone whose sheer power is such that no one is a match for him. I’ll admit, it is satisfying sometimes to see Joe scoff at impending threats and swat away baddies like flies. When a mook tries to stab him in the back, he sighs. “Really?” Then he throws the baddie the length of a football field into a car. Joe is like an annoyed momma dog/cat with their babies crawling all over them and trying to attack them who just puts one paw on them to hold them down. His “I’m too old/too powerful for this shit” energy is palpable.
After spending most of the film with this Superhero-and-a-Half odd couple pairing, we get a finale where we see Joe in his full superpowered glory. Bullets bouncing off of him (and his clothes, somehow?) while he beats guys up with tires and fire extinguishers and uses henchmen as soccer balls to kick around. I might be slightly biased when it comes to Stallone, so his cheesy one-liners may not land with others the way they did with me. He embeds a grenade in a bad guy’s stomach and as he walks away he says,“Have a blast.” That’s the exact kind of cheese I want on my cinematic charcuterie board.
Outside of henchmen-wrecking time, Samaritan gets a bit melodramatic and convoluted. If you stop to think about the motivations of some of the major players, things start to unravel. My advice is to treat it like an improv class- just say “yes, and” roll with it.
Samaritan is best enjoyed for what it is- a simple superhero movie in which Stallone gets to be indestructible and have fun destroying bad guys. I mean, the hero and bad guys’ names are Samaritan and Nemesis. Subtle, it ain’t. Solid, it is. I don’t think this will measure up to the repeatedly-watchable greats of Stallone’s long career, your Rambos and Rockys and Stop or My Mom Will Shoots, but it seemed like everyone involved knew what they were making and went for it wholeheartedly.
Action Rating: 3 Cheesy One Liners, out of 5
Disclaimer: Just because I am the Action Flick Chick and love action movies does not mean I condone real life violence in any way. Everyone has their own shit to deal with, be nice to each other.
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