Michonne’s got some looks that could kill in the newest episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead, and I am loving them! Last week we didn’t get to see any Andrea or Michonne, but this week makes up for it by focusing on Team Blonde and Dreadly. The audience will see the return of a character everyone’s been waiting for, an introduction to The Governor, along with a little town called Woodbury. I don’t read the comics, so I didn’t know who the Governor was at first, but his first few scenes are shot so brilliantly that,  even though he has been nothing but nice to Andrea and Michonne, you feel like someone’s getting a fork in the eye at any second. The Walking Dead continues to bring the goods this season and I am pumped to find out what else happens!

Let’s check in with Dale to see how he’s doing this week.

Action Chick, I’m gonna need you to be quiet. Scratch that—really quiet. There’s a raccoon sneaking around somewhere nearby, and he stole my dang hat. Little booger’s been wearing it like a gyat-dang animal fisherman and I don’t appreciate it. Yesterday I saw him staring me down, hat on head, just grinning away with that snot-eating grin that only a raccoon can have.

(Makes unintelligible raccoon noises)

Well I’ll be-what’d you do with my hat?!? Why do you have a second hat and a briefcase? GET BACK HERE, YOU!

Thanks, Dale! Now, onward, to the recap!

Here’s what happens:

Episode three opens with a helicopter full of military guys crashing. Michonne and Andrea (whom I will refer to as MichAndrea (TM)) go to check it out to find another group of men who had the same idea. Man, Andrea looks really bad; I know she’s supposed to because she’s sick, but jeez, she’s looking seriously haggard here. MichAndrea watch from the bushes as the men investigate the wreckage, finding the pilot to be alive and the others dead and zombified. Michonne’s armless, jawless zombuds start making a lot of noise, and to prevent them from drawing attention to her, she slices their heads off without a second thought.

Right as MichAndrea think the boys are leaving, a distinctly southern accent comes jutting in from behind them. Yep! It’s the long lost Dixon brother, Merle! Technically, it’s Robo-Merle because he’s got some kind of metal prosthetic device covering his handless arm, a prosthetic complete with a freakin’ big blade attached to it! Merle turns them over to the Governor, and they’re taken back to his heavily fortified camp.

Team Blonde and Dreadly check out the town of Woodbury.

While Andrea received medical treatment, Merle explains what’s happened to him in the last few months: basically, he was bleeding to death when the Governor and company found him. Andrea, in turn, recaps what Team Rick was up to before she got separated from them, and Merle bristles a little bit at the mention of Daryl and Rick. Uh-oh! Trouble brewing!

Then The Governor comes in and officially welcomes MichAndrea to Woodbury- a little town he’s managed to create and protect from the walkers. He gives them a room with running water and food, though he hangs on to their weapons. The Governor keeps a tight leash on the people of Woodbury—no one is allowed out after dark; light and noise are kept to a minimum; and Justin Bieber fans are executed without mercy. He’s also got a scientist working to study the walkers, and I missed his name, so for now I’ll refer to him as Disco Steve. Disco Steve, though a little awkward, seems sympathetic towards MichAndrea, and tries to reach out to them, though they don’t react well to his socially inept brand of friendliness.

The Governor talks with the pilot and convinces him to divulge where his other posse of National Guardsmen are so he can help them. After he gets this information he tricks the boys in green into relaxing by waving a white flag at them upon his arrival, all while his own men flank them and blast them to bits. After brutally killing the last of the injured Guardsmen with a switchblade, the Governor orders his men to round up their supplies.

He goes back to the town with a BS story about how the walkers got to the men first and how the town should be thankful for what he’s given them—safety and a life. Later he goes off into a secret room to relax and watch a little TV. What’s on tonight Governor? Oh yeah, the same thing that’s on every night—fish tanks full of twitching, zombified heads including Michonne’s pets and what remains of the pilot guy!

Likes:

• Gory sliced in half soldier dude.
• They have totally upped the gore!
• Michonne is a freakin’ hardass— she sliced off her zompets heads like it was nothing!
• The return of Merle!
• Michonne’s deadly looks of disapproval. If they were any more severe, people would literally just start freaking dying from them.

Dislikes:

• Nothing. I love Season three of The Walking Dead! If the show keeps this kind of thing up I might have to (happily) retire the dislike column.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!