Paranormal Activity (2009): Imagine Demons

Paranormal Activity should be called “Did You Hear That?” because it’s what the characters say to each other and what you’ll be saying to your friends during 90% of the movie. This mega low budget horror flick started small, but ended with a wide release and a box-office-annihilating haul of cash (which then lead to countless sequels and spinoffs). I’m not really surprised, though. It’s a sharp indie horror film, one that definitely freaked this chick out- perfect for Halloween!

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 0 kabooms, horror, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977) Review: This Movie Can Eat My Ass

Have you often wondered what would happen if your bed became possessed by a demon and started eating people? Who hasn’t! For years I’ve spent many a sleepless night haunted by this unanswered question. That is until I saw Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Previously, I’ve never been able to form a trusting relationship with my bed for fear that it will suddenly try to eat me. And now I know it’s true! Beds do eat people! And I bet that the dryer myth is true too! Dryers do eat socks and I bet they have eaten a few people in their day too. Everyone beware the upcoming sequel! Death Dryer: The Dryer That Eats You and Your Socks!

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 0.5 kabooms, movie, twitter | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Hidden Strike (2023): So Hidden It Doesn’t Strike at All?

JC plus JC! Nope, not talking about Jesus Christ here. I’m talking about John Cena and Jackie Chan, two masters of action and comedy who come together in the action-adventure Hidden Strike (2023). But is this talented duo a peanut butter and chocolate match made in heaven, or peanut butter and pickles match made in hell?

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) – Not a Weasel, and Not Worth Watching

Wolverine: Origins: Wolverine

Did you know that the wolverine, aka Gulo gulo, is the largest land-dwelling species of the weasel family, known for its aggressive nature and stocky musculature? I’ve been under the impression that wolverines were known for their adamantium healing and rapid regeneration! Well maybe I thought all of this because the latter is the only Wolverine that matters! All other wolverines fail in comparison.

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, PG-13, science fiction, superhero | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Bloodsport (1988): You Just Got Van Dammed!

Oh, Snap! You Got Van Dammed! That’s what Bloodsport should be called because this ’80s action classic features Jean-Claude Van Damme kicking an astonishing amount of ass.

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 4 kabooms, action, movie, R-rated | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ong-Bak (2003): Who Needs a Budget When You’re This Good?

Certain situations call for certain action heroes. Daughter kidnapped by human traffickers? You call Bryan Mills. Office building taken over by terrorists? You call John McClane. The village statue of Ong-Bak gets defaced, decapitated, and deported off with a band of ruffians?

You call Ting.

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Posted in * all movie reviews *, 5 kabooms, action, movie, PG-13 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Fast and the Furious (2001): Humble Beginnings, Fast Cars, and Macho Men!

FAMILY. The main theme of the Fast and Furious franchise, which now boasts eleven films (the last one being in production), numerous other television shows, video games, toys, etc., is family. In 2001’s The Fast and the Furious, babyfaced versions of our favorite car-driving superhero family learn that “family” is more than the people who share your blood, it’s the people who share your life. Now that this family is over twenty-one, let’s pour a drink for ourselves and revisit the film that conceived this family. 

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Yes, Madam! (1985) AKA In the Line of Duty II: The Super Cops: A Movie by Many Other Names

This week we’ve got the ass-kicking combo of Michelle Yeoh and Cynthia Rothrock in Yes, Madam! (1985) also known as In the Line of Duty II: The Super Cops. Don’t be confused by Supercop 2 (1993), which also stars Michelle Yeoh, or Line of Duty 2 (2019), OR The Super Cops (1974), because those are entirely different films. Huh?! Whatever! The name doesn’t matter as long as the movie kicks ass. But does it?

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Posted in 2.5 kabooms, action, comedy, movie, PG-13 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment