Lessons Learned: When not to use an umbrella

So, I had one of those embarrassing moments a few weeks back and I want to share it with everyone so that you guys might learn from my stupidity. I was up in Missouri going shopping with my mom. Well, we couldn’t have picked a worse day to do this because a tornado decided to show its pretty little face right where we were. We didn’t know anyone who lived in that area so we took shelter in a gas station. We waited it out for an hour or so, and then decided it was safe to get to the car and make it to the mall. My mother was nice enough to let me use the umbrella even though I don’t mind getting rained on, I even welcome it at times. However, it was raining cats and dogs, and maybe a few zombies, so I decided to use the umbrella this one time (and the last time). We were in the middle of tornado weather, the wind was blowing so hard that the Sam’s store across the street from where I was had the whole side of their building that was under construction ripped open. Still I opened the umbrella and made a dash for the car. Halfway there the umbrella got flipped inside out and almost ripped out of my hands. I was hanging onto it like my life depended on it. I didn’t want it to fly into traffic and cause a wreck or something. So I finally make it to the car, which took 2 minutes extra because of the fight that was going on between me and the umbrella. My mother’s already sitting inside, pretty dry and laughing at me. I am able to get in the car but I can’t shut the door, partly because of the wind and partly because I only had one hand because I was still hanging on to the STUPID UMBRELLA. Oh wait, there’s more. The umbrella somehow, magically, gets caught on the windshield wiper of the car. I kid thee not. So I spend another minute dealing with that while the car door is open and I am getting soaked. I finally make it inside the car, with that STUPID UMBRELLA. I had fought for so long I wasn’t going to let it win. Turns out, I got soaked from head to toe and my mother, the one without the umbrella, was barely even moistened by the incident. Lesson learned: Forego the umbrella if there’s a tornado on the prowl, or if it’s the least bit windy.