AFC Classic: Resident Evil: Afterlife Review

When a movie promises multiple ass kicking Milla Jovoviches, you can bet your balls that I’ll be first in line to see it. I would kill a hobgoblin, ride a wild T-Rex (as opposed to a housebroken one), or hunt down a wild Snorlax, just to see Jovovich kick some Umbrella dudes’ ass! Thankfully, all the hobgoblins, T-Rexs, and Snorlaxes got my memo and let me cut first in line.

Resident Evil: Afterlife is the fourth installment based on the video game with the same name. Alice (Milla Jovovich) is back and she definitely brought some friends with her, including a butt-ton of her own clones. Alice continues her battle against the Umbrella Corporation and searches for any survivors along the way. The main villain of the video game series, Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts), the head of Umbrella, finally decides to get his hands dirty in this film, and Alice goes toe-to-toe with him.

I love the first two films in the series, and like the third one. The action in Afterlife was splendid, and the plot was atrocious. It’s almost as if Paul W.S. Anderson went on vacation, and a 5-year-old kid got a hold of the script, made some doodles, then immediately sent it off. Whooo-boy, there were inconsistencies galore, weak dialogue, poor characterization, and a tepid story.

All that being said, I straight up don’t care! I’m a big fan of Alice and Jovovich, and I loved seeing her kick everyone’s asses! Before Alice ever says a single word in the film, she has literally killed over a million dudes! Well, maybe not literally a million, but a lot, and that is the kind of stuff I love to see: a woman taking action! Claire Redfield (Ali Larter) also increases the ass kicking-ometer. That is another woman who isn’t afraid to get her hands bloody and I say the more the merrier! The action was very Matrix-y in that it was mostly slowed down and had everyone dodging bullets, zombie dogs, and sunglasses.

Resident Evil: Afterlife was fun and entertaining even though the storyline sucked balls. I’m already looking forward to the next one with the (secret) return of one of my favorite characters from a previous film.

*Spoilers Below*

Time Until Action Starts: ~ 4 minutes

Baddies: Albert Wesker! And zombies! And whatever the hell those ugly things were!

Best Line: “Five years ago…a virus escaped, and everybody died.”

Best Kill: You can tell from the beginning little Kim Yong (Norman Yeung) isn’t going to make it. Just as he’s about to escape by jumping into a hole in the ground, a gigantic hammer from The Executioner (a.k.a. Axe Man) comes slicing down right through his head all the way to his feet. Ouch!

Best Explosion: Oh man, am I glad I don’t live in Japan! As Wesker is escaping from one of the underground Umbrella hives, he detonates a bomb. This is some kind of magic unicorn-dust powered device, a bomb so powerful that it’d be the end of the world if it ever exists. It forms a kind of cloud that sucks a huge chunk of Tokyo into a massive rift/explosion.

Action Rating: 4 Zombie Shower Scenes, out of 5.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

Previous posts:
* Resident Evil (2002) – review
* Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) – review
* Every Zombie Movie Ever Made

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2 thoughts on “AFC Classic: Resident Evil: Afterlife Review

  1. Pingback: Rocket Llama HQ - » AFC Classic: Resident Evil: Afterlife Review

  2. Wendell

    Strangely enough I haven’t seen any of the Resident Evil movies. I keep telling myself I’m just going to run through them marathon style one weekend. Need to get on it.

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