Pregnancy: without it, we’d go extinct. But, just because it’s completely necessary doesn’t mean it isn’t totally scary and gross. When a woman gets pregnant, all sorts of magical things take place, like bizarre food cravings, mood swings, morning sickness, and the occasional bout of laser vision. Still, even though being with child is a strange, often tense experience, we can almost always rest assured that the arrival of that little bounding bundle of joy will make it all worth it…or is that just what parents have to say?

In the movie world, you never know what the hell’s gonna happen with that baby. Maybe it’s secretly possessed, maybe you’re secretly possessed, maybe you’re both double possessed and cancel each other out. Maybe it’s not even human! With the impending arrival of the evil pregnancy movie Devil’s Due, it seems fitting to go check out some of the other pregnancy-gone-wrong movies out there so you can thank your lucky stars that you/your significant other/your mother had an easier time delivering than these poor ladies. Don’t think of these as movies, think of them as cinematic birth control.

Rosemary’s Baby

That face you make when you see your friend’s ugly baby for the first time.

If you are or are thinking about becoming pregnant, don’t watch Rosemary’s Baby. It features a horrifying pregnancy, complete with the mother going through months of agonizing abdominal pains, losing weight (not the good kind, the “I look emaciated and can barely survive” kind), and having weird cravings like raw meat and chicken liver. There’s no fun to be had there. Also, that whole theory about it all being worth it once the bundle of joy arrives gets shot to hell here when the mother finds out that a demon is the baby’s father, and she’s going to be the mother of a satanic hellswpawn. Woohoo! Doesn’t that make you want to run out and get pregnant?

Dawn of the Dead

Zombie baby showers are a lot like regular baby showers.

It’s bad enough to go into labor when you have no access to medical care (and all the wonderful drugs that go with it), but to go into labor in the middle of a zombie outbreak where there’s no drugs and there are flesh-eating zombies coming after you from every side is enough to make you swear off getting pregnant ever again. Dawn of the Dead’s Luda not only has the pleasure of trying to have a baby in a zombie-filled world, she ends up dying during the tumultuous labor and reviving as a pregnant, baby-having zombie. Her bizarre birthing sequence also answers the zombie movie question: if a pregnant woman is bitten and dies, is the baby okay? Nope! In this case, it turns into a little cutsey wootsy zombie that tries to eat his father’s face off right out of the womb.

The Fly II

This was pretty much the only picture I could find from The Fly 2 that wasn’t completely disgusting.

The Fly II isn’t so much focused on a pregnancy so much as it is what’s actually birthed. The poor mother in this flick gives birth to something so horrifying that she dies from shock! After going through the trouble of labor, she finds that she gave birth to a healthy squirming larva… traumatic stuff, to be sure. The sac eventually splits open to reveal a seemingly normal baby boy, but by then it’s too late. You can’t un-see giving birth to a larval sac!

Inseminoid

Same goes for this pic from Inseminoid.

Yuck! Just looking at the poster for Inseminoid should be enough to turn people away from wanting to have an alien baby. Sometimes pregnancy can make a woman feel and act kind of crazy, and in the case ofInseminoid, the poor woman goes homicidal.  Leading lady Sandy gets impregnated by an alien, and goes progressively more ballistic as her twin alien fetuses grow. She turns on her buddies and starts hunting them like a wild beast, even going so far as to dismember them and chug their blood like some kind of bizarro prenatal milkshake. Gross!

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

Originally posted on Fan TV.