Everyone has their own favorite holiday movie they put on around this time every year. These holiday movies are often linked to a person’s childhood and evoke warm and fuzzy feelings to get them in the holiday spirit. For some of us, we need those warm and fuzzy feelings to warm up the cold lumps of coal in our hearts. With so many holiday movies out there, true action Christmas movies make up a tiny percentage. We have a few holiday action classics, but those stockings have been pretty bereft of new movies as of late. Thankfully, Violent Night (2022) has come down the chimney to try to stake its place on the mantle as a holiday classic. But is this a gift we should keep, or give away to someone smelly?
Violent Night introduces the dysfunctional (and rich as fuck) Lightstone family who have reluctantly gathered together on Christmas Eve. A group of mercenaries take them hostage in their own mansion in order to steal $300 million dollars being kept in the mansion vault. The mercs, led by Scrooge (John Leguizamo), have a well-thought-out plan for everything- taking out security, addressing the secret Lightstone extraction team, and picking the super high tech vault lock. This Scrooge looked into the Ghost of Christmas Future to prepare for everything… or so he thought. He didn’t count on the real spirit of Christmas, Santa Claus himself (David Harbour). Naturally, the mercs don’t take a guy in a Santa suit seriously because 1. Santa isn’t real, and 2. Even if he was real, he’s a fat, jolly gentle fellow. Right? Little does anyone know that Santa is real and his past is less holly-jolly and more holy-shit-he-used-to-crush-heads-with-a-sledge-hammer-called-Skull-Crusher. And, since he became Santa, he takes his Naughty and Nice list very seriously.
Harbour is fantastic, as usual, as this burnt-out version of Santa Claus. He’s hit rock bottom, often drunkenly mumbling about how kids are terrible little junkies and that humans bleed greed, and his deep voice and sardonic laugh punctuate both his cynicism and the action perfectly. Harbour and writers Pat Casey & Josh Miller know just how to balance out asshole Santa and helper Santa, towing the line back and forth to keep you rooting for him without getting too warm and fuzzy.
Once the mercs are really naughty and start threatening the life of youngest Lightstone Trudy (Leah Brady), Santa steps in to deck the halls with their blood. Director Tommy Wirkola directs the action scenes with glee, pairing ironically cheerful Christmas music with Santa smashing and bashing. Harbour’s physicality really comes into play here- 6’3” and packed with those Hellboy muscles, he’s every bit the type of Santa Claus whose naughty list you don’t want to land on. As Santa sneaks and fights his way through his rescue operation, we get all sorts of fun, creative, and downright gory uses of non-standard tools like sledge hammers, mulchers, Christmas ornaments, and fire pokers. Santa’s not the only one to drop the ho-ho-holy smackdown, though. Once nice little Trudy gets pushed too far she starts in with some Home Alone-inspired booby traps, and the rest of her family (Beverly D’Angelo, Alex Hassell, Alexis Louder, Edi Patterson, and Alexander Elliot) put their varying skills to good use when given the chance.
Even amidst the violence, there’s a surprising amount of heart and Christmas spirit weaved into the narrative. Every bit of music, every bit of decor, is like warm cookies on Christmas Eve. Santa’s conversations with Trudy harken back to other sweet films like White Christmas or It’s a Wonderful Life (just with lots, lots more dead bodies). I felt so moved by the Christmas spirit that I went straight home to throw up the Christmas decorations and bake cupcakes. And I don’t bake.
The “Die Hard + Variable” genre continues on in grand tradition with Violent Night, a terrific action flick that I’m sure to make a tradition of watching every time Jolly Ol’ St. Nick’s on his way.
Action Rating: 4 Skull Crushing Santa’s, out of 5
Disclaimer: Just because I am the Action Flick Chick and love action movies does not mean I condone real life violence in any way. Everyone has their own shit to deal with, be nice to each other.
