My love for the Autobots grows deeper every day; however, my love for the Transformers films has thinned with each film that comes out. The third installment, Dark of the Moon, was better than the second one, but by how much?
Shia LaBeouf reprises his role as Sam Witwicky, who’s now a college grad just trying to find a job. The Autobots, however, are busy working for the government helping take out bad guys. And the Decepticons are up to their usual shenanigans of plotting to take over the world, and Sam and the Autobots must stop them! Whoo hoo!
All I really care about in these films are the Transformers, and AS ALWAYS, there wasn’t enough of them in Dark of the Moon. There was a lot of screen time spent on the people, and frankly I don’t give a crap about them. I don’t care about Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and his team, or Epps (Tyrese Gibson). I especially don’t care about Sam’s new girl, Carly (Rosie-Huntington Whiteley), who by the way added nothing to the film except being a helpless girl who needs Sam to rescue her. She was a terrible female character whose main story purpose was to remind us of Sam’s name over and over as she cried out for him to save her. Uggghh! Grow a pair already! And Michael Bay: Not every woman’s role in life is to be a hot piece of ass and get kidnapped!
Soooo, anyways. The third flick was better than the second one overall. The humor wasn’t insulting like the bajillion jokes about dogs humping and robot balls we see in the second one. There wasn’t as much action in Dark of the Moon though. I was bored, bored, bored for at least the first hour if not more. The final battle saved this film, although it again was focused too heavily on the PEOPLE and not the ROBOTS. The Transformers looked incredible, though. And because it was filmed in 3D, the action sequences were a little slower so you could actually keep up and tell what’s going on.
Best Line: We will kill them all!
Action Rating: 3 Optimus Primes Giving a Thumbs Up, out of 5.
Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
I’m tired of both Bay and LaBeouf, both are bad publicity, neither have good range beyond big explosions and whiny brats. I love the original Transformer movie from 1986. The only real saving partts of this trilogy was Peter Cullen and Frank Welker returning along with Nimoy. No more Transformer movies, please, I’m going back to the cartoons
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yeah, that review covered pretty much exactly what I felt about it too…1st half bout sucked, 2nd half totally saved it. The only part where Carly kind of redeemed herself was in turning Megatron against Sentinel…. but it would have been much more satisfying to have him crush her before taking off. Nimoy was awesome, and the couple little Trek references made my inner geek giggle. Keeping Shockwave a cyclops was a nice touch too..
I agree it was better than the last one. I for one am glad this is the last of this series of movies and pray for a reboot of the franchise. Too many people and not enough robots. Would it kill Bay to have the damn Transformers interact with each other?
What can I say? I think you did a good job of pointing out the best and worse in this latest installment, but it’s too bad you didn’t give a rat’s ass about the people, at least Optimus did![🙂](https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/svg/1f642.svg)
I thought the drama felt more real, right up until Carly DID grow a pair and told Megatron he was a big pussy . . . what I didn’t believe was him not destroying her right there . . . and notice Sam was gone completely.
shortened link = http://is.gd/TRANS