The Walking Dead 4-6: The Governor Learns How to Pinky Swear

While Rick’s Rebels have been fighting with a different kind of killer, the Governor found himself a new family and took them on a little road trip. “Live Bait” takes us back to when we last saw the Gov in season three and updates us on his fascinating life since then. And by fascinating, I mean super dull.

But, before we get into the recap, let’s check in with Dale.

Action Chick, my RV’s still busted, and I’m in day twenty-one of the Thirty Day Hot Dog Challenge. They say it can’t be done, that a man can’t eat hot dogs for thirty days straight, but I’m going to prove them wrong no matter how what. It’s not easy, though; there’s only so many ways to eat a hot dog, and I’ve done ’em all. I even tried soaking ’em in pickle juice, which, FYI, is surprisingly disgusting. Plus, I’m low on ketchup, I ran out of chili days ago, and, to top it all off, I fear I’m showing the first signs of Hot Dog Madness- the madness you get from eating too many hot dogs too fast.

What? Don’t interrupt me while I’m talking, hot dog!

No, I will not talk about that! What happened in that hedge maze is between me and that Georgia Bulldogs mascot.

Thanks, Dale! Now, onward, to the recap!

Since the Gov massacred his own people, the two guys who were with him up and left his ass in the middle of the night, which just might be the smartest thing anyone has ever done in the history of the show. Still sad/psychotically enraged, The Gov torches Woodbury and goes out on his own loony way involving growing a shaggy, hobo beard and eating cat food- wet food, not dry food, mind you. That’d be crazy.

During his travels he befriends a family comprised of a tough, but gullible woman, a nice, but gullible woman, a cancer-ridden and gullible older dude and a gullible little girl who reminds The Gov of his own daughter- remember her? The zombified kiddo that Michonne shish-kabobed? We spend a lot of time with this family of goobers, and they do most of the talking since The Gov is still kind of loopy and withdrawn. The whole thing feels a bit forced, not to mention boring. We don’t really learn anything new about The Gov, and the family’s not the most interesting bunch of characters ever to appear. We do get one sweet moment where the little girl draws an eye patch on a chess piece to make it look like the Governor. Aw, that’s nice…wait, nope! Don’t care! He’s still a monster!

Anyway, after The Gov does a couple of favors for the family, including putting down cancer-ridden Dad after he turns, they cling to him like socks right out of a dryer. The group hits the road in The Gov’s ramblin’ gamblin’ motor home… which promptly breaks down, forcing them to hike. Surprising no one, a huge group of walkers shows up and chases the merry would-be family through the woods. We lose sight of Nice Gal and Tough Gal, but The Gov and the young girl fall into a pit with several zombies, and he proceeds to dismember them with an impressive brutality. Ultimately, one of The Gov’s deserters from the beginning of the episode appears, and the episode wraps.

Oh, and partway through all of this, Nice Girl hooks up with The Gov, which begs the question as to why Govvy boy gets more play than anyone else on the show. What’s the deal with that? The more evil someone is, the more they get laid? Anywho, sex questions aside, this episode is as boring as watching paint dry. There is about 30 seconds of cool stuff that happens, but we get very little character development. After all, we already know all about The Governor, and what we get of this new family is pretty superficial, so it all left me wanting hardcore. And, according to the preview, next week’s gonna be another Governor-centric episode, which means that, for the first time, I’m not excited for the next episode. Boo! I don’t want to see him bond with the little girl and deal with his old protégé and a new group of survivors- I want to see him die at the hands (or Katanas) of Rick’s Rebels.

Likes:

• The Gov ripping the zombie’s throat out.
• The Gov killing another zombie by putting a bone in its mouth and pulling until the top of its head came off.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

Dale’s Deeds by Alex Langley @Rocketllama