Review: Safe (2012)!

Most people can’t even remember their phone number let alone a list of numbers a mile long. There are those gifted people, though, who can memorize anything. You know the type: the ones that never had to study in school and still made 100’s while you’d studied all night and barely pull off a B…or less. Yeah, those jerks! Mei (Catherine Chan) is one of those jerks, and when she memorizes a valuable list of numbers it makes her the most sought after twelve year old girl in the world… literally the Russians, the Triads, corrupt politicians, corrupt police officers, and one Luke Wright (Jason Statham) are all chasing one little girl through the streets of New York City. Luke is the only one, though, who intends to save Mei from everyone else and not use her for his own personal gain. Everyone else just wants the number she was forced to memorize that will open a safe full of millions of dollars. Will Luke keep Mei safe while also scoring the number to the safe? Find out in Safe!

For the most part, this is your typical Jason Statham film in which he runs around a city and beats the living daylights out of everyone. However, there were a few things that made this film different from Statham’s others. This time around his side kick/package to save is a young girl. He also plays a mopey, depressed character in the beginning that has everything taken away from him and still gets pooped on every time he turns a corner. I wasn’t a fan of this; it was boring and not fun. Who wants to see Statham get beat up repeatedly? I am watching the film so that I can see him do the beating. So get to it already!

Safe played it safe a little too much on the action. It still had some great fight scenes and stunts, but there wasn’t anything that unique about any of it. Once the film is over you’ll forget about most of what just happened. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still enjoyable, has plenty of action, and fun to watch once you get past mopey Luke and into the part where he just beats ass. I wouldn’t rush out to the theaters to watch it though. It’d be a nice choice for the next rental night.

Warning! Spoiler!

Best Moment: In the end it comes down to Luke and one of the numerous major baddies facing off. Baddie has Mei hostage, and Luke has merchandise the baddie wants. They decide to set down their guns and fight it out like MANLY men. Right as they start to fight, Mei picks up a gun and shoots Baddie in the leg. He falls to the ground and Luke finishes him off quickly with a couple of shots to the head! Screw fair play!

Action Rating: 3 ½ Safes, out of 5.