Review: Elysium (2013)

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Who needs subtlety when you can just bend your audience over and cram your message up their b-holes? Message received! Keep in mind that this might not be the most effective way to get a point across to someone, so don’t go trying that at home- and if you do, keep my name out of it.

Neil Blomkamp’s Elysium has a message and it’s not shy about letting you know it. In the future, the rich people will leave Earth to live on a paradise planet, Elysium, where they have machines that can cure anything and everything, and nothing bad ever happens. While they live the eternal life of grandeur, the not so rich people will be left with the ruins of Earth. Jobs, food, and medical assistance will be as scarce as finding a cat who loves to swim. Max (Matt Damon) hunts for a way to get to Elysium and is willing to get there at all costs. Also, apparently, in the future, the United States’ first language will be Spanish.

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Though Elysium wears its agenda on its sleeve, it didn’t bother me, since the point is particularly relevant today- do the rich get extra privileges while the poor suffer the consequences? Elysium’s story isn’t perfect, but it does get you to like Max and want to go along with him for the bumpy ride. The ending felt a bit lackluster, however, as its fairly predictable outside of one bold move which I applaud Neil Blomkamp for taking.

The film starts the action-race off at a slow and steady pace, but after the first lap, it takes off full speed and doesn’t slow down until it crosses the finish line- and that’s what I like about it. The typical act two slow spell doesn’t happen, and is instead filled with  shootouts and chase scenes. All in all, this decent flick gets two-thirds of a thumbs up from this Action Chick.

 

Action Rating: 3 ½ Bald-headed Matt Damons in Exosuits, out of 5!

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5 Reasons to Watch Starz’s The White Queen

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STARZ will be premiering their newest television show, The White Queen, tonight, August 10th, at 8pm ET/PT. The new show is based Philippa Gregory’s The Cousins’ War book series.  Set during the War of the Roses, the show the story of three ladies trying to lie, cheat, and love whoever it takes to get them in the Queen’s seat. Based on the few episodes I’ve seen, here are some reasons to tune in to watch The White Queen.


Women Are Center Stage

The story of The White Queen follows three ladies in particular, Elizabeth Woodville (Rebecca Ferguson), Margaret Beaufort (Amanda Hale), and Anne Neville (Faye Marsay), who are all out to gain power over the throne of England. Elizabeth is particularly interesting since she begins the series as a commoner, but catches King Edward of York’s eye and ends up quickly rising to power… and quickly making some enemies. Only with the help of her wise and conniving mother, Jacquetta (Janet McTeer) is she able to navigate the political minefields of the day.


Good Old Cousin Rivalry

Similarly to The Game of Thrones, The White Queen is about different houses battling for control of the throne. The House of York and the House of Lancaster are cousins at heart, but they aren’t exactly inviting each other to sleepovers and gossip session. That’s why it’s such a big deal when Edward (York) marries Elizabeth (Lancaster) – his family is not exactly pleased that he would cross family lines like that. Also, you have to remember that this takes place back in the 1400s, back when it wasn’t just okay to marry a cousin, it was encouraged.


It’s Based on British History

The White Queen may be based on a series of books, but author Philippa Gregory spent years researching medieval British history in preparation for writing them. In doing so she unearthed the untold story of Elizabeth Woodville, spinning a fascinating tale of historical drama and political intrigue. I’m betting that, like most shows, there will be a few stretches and changes from the books and history in order to adapt it into a proper show, but there’s still a solid foundation of historical accuracy here.

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Steamy Romance

The show centers on relationships between people, but it also doesn’t mind focusing on the relationships between people underneath the bed sheets either. It’s on STARZ! Of course you can expect some nudity. Edward and Elizabeth aren’t just in love, they’re trying to quickly conceive a kid, which means they’re going to be hitting those sheets with a vengeance.


Witchcraft and Accents

It’s set in England, so obviously they have British accents. And who doesn’t like listening to an English person speak? Also, the women have a few semi-supernatural abilities. Some seem to catch glimpses of the future, while others can control the weather. The level of power they possess has yet to be fully explained, so whether the show is smashing historical accuracy or not remains to be seen, but either way it makes for interesting television.

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Sneak Peek at STARZ’s Original Television Show: The White Queen

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STARZ will be premiering their newest television show, The White Queen, this Saturday, August 10th, at 8pm ET/PT. The new show originally aired on BBC One and is based on the books by Philippa Gregory’s The Cousins’ War series. The series follows the story of three ladies seeking the throne of England, all of whom are willing to manipulate, betray, and/or love anyone if it’ll help get them there. The leading ladies are played by Rebecca Ferguson, Amanda Hale, and Faye Marsay, and Max Irons portrays King Edward IV. Below are some special previews of the show, including Philippa Gregory talking about taking the book to the screen, and a quick overview of some of the characters. Don’t forget to tune in tomorrow for the premiere!

 

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Expendables 3 Gains an Archeologist, Loses a New York Cop

expendables_jpeg_630x800_q85According to Deadline, Sylvester Stallone confirmed two big announcements yesterday regarding the casting of Expendables 3. Bruce Willis will not be rejoining the all-star cast this time around; however, Harrison Ford has agreed to help fill the gap. That’s right, we’ve lost McClane, but we’ve gained a scruffy-looking nerf-herder. Even though it’d be great to have Willis return, I’m not too torn up about it considering he had smaller parts in the first two films. Plus, other new faces have been added that I am super pumped about, including Milla Jovovich, Jackie Chan, Nicolas Cage and Wesley Snipes. It’s going to be a long, long wait for it’s release on August 15, 2014.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

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Review: The Wolverine (2013)

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I pity the fool who tries to portray Wolverine after Hugh Jackman is done with the part, you know, after another 30 years or so. Jackman is Wolverine, Wolverine is Jackman. That’s all there is to it. He’s played this character in seven films and counting- a feat few actors can boast- and part of the reason is that he’s so darn fantastic at being the super cool, hella buff, tormented, badass superhero, and he’s back in The Wolverine. Will this follow-up to the uneven and somewhat atrocious X-Men Origins: Wolverine manage to surpass its predecessor?

In The Wolverine, Logan’s old WWII pal,, Yashida (Hal Yamanouchi), summons him to Japan to give his deathbed goodbye. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t call on The Wolverine just for a simple goodbye; no Yashida has to go and offer Wolverine a chance at becoming mortal to thank him for saving his life all those years ago… and highjinks unfold from there.

On the positive side, we’ve got three major female characters. The villainous Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova), slinks around unassumingly, poisoning people who cross her until she gets what she wants. Wolverine gets a bodyguard, Yukio (Rila Fukushima), who can wield a sword like a conductor wielding a baton. Then there’s the female character apparently made of gold since every person in the world is after her, Mariko (Tao Okamoto). Actually, she just inherited mountain loads of money so that’s a legitimate reason people are trying to kidnap/kill her. Even Mariko, though, isn’t just a helpless sack there to get kidnapped. I mean she does, but she has moments where she fights off the attackers instead of only yelling helplessly. She also becomes proactive towards the end as well. Being the daughter of the lethal swordsman Shingen (Hiroyuki Sanada), it makes sense that Mariko’s got some skills, which she shows off when fighting her would-be kidnappers. The first time she gets kidnapped, anyway.

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There are some high-quality action sequences here, too. During one particularly great scene, Wolverine dukes it out with some baddies atop a bullet train. There’ve been many fight scenes set on top of trains, but this one turns it into less of an outright fight and more of a scramble to see who can dodge obstacles and stay on the roof without slipping/getting smacked off.  Outside of the train sequence, most of the fights are very close-quarters, reminiscent of some Statham classics like The Transporter. Even some of the more CG-heavy battles at the end don’t lean too heavily on the special effects crutch- things stay personal and real.

On the negative side is the story, which isn’t exactly flawless. Sure, we get some interesting character development from Wolverine, seeing him hurt in ways we’ve never seen before, but the main plotline has rampant logic issues, and the slow second act doesn’t help. But if you want to see Hugh Jackman scream and plunge claws into bad guys, or Wolverine have some legitimate character growth, or just want to see a better Wolverine flick to wash the taste of X-Men Origins: Wolverine out of your mouth, then this is well worth your time.

 

Action Rating: 3 ½ Shirtless Hugh Jackmans, out of 5!

 

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The Walking Dead Season 4 Trailer

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Like a kid gets Hooked on Phonics, so, too, am I hooked on The Walking Dead, thanks to its amazing cast, high-stakes action/horror drama, and, of course, Daryl Dixon. AMC created a show that took America by the haunches and made us beg for more. AMC has responded to all the begging by releasing a trailer for season 4, premiering October 13, 2013. Based on the trailer it looks like things are more dangerous than ever for Rick’s Rebels, thanks in no small part to someone sabotaging the prison from within. Once the new season premieres, I’ll be continuing my weekly review/recaps, featuring The one and only Dale Face, so make sure to bookmark this site and check back come October for more Walking Dead goodness.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

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Pilot Review: Almost Human and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

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There is very little about an upcoming TV season that makes me wary more than FOX doing a sci-fi project; but the possibility that something has been over-hyped is pretty darn close. At last weeks San Diego Comic-con International, I had the opportunity to preview two upcoming series I had been interested in seeing based on the trailers released earlier in the spring- Almost Human and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

FOX doesn’t have the best history with Sci-fi productions- the notable recent exception being the five season run of Fringe. So when I see a teaser and get excited, that excitement always dies when FOX is involved as the network. But I have now seen the full pilot episode for Almost Human and I have high hopes that FOX allows the show to be as awesome as it can be. Besides, it’s from J.J. Abrams… FOX seems to like his projects.

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So let me explain what it is that drew me to this show- Karl Urban. I mean, it’s pretty much a cop drama with a robot for a partner- it’s been done. It’s set in the future- that’s been done, too. But Karl Urban using dry wit and sulky stares and kicking ass? Um… yes, please. Sign me up. Love this guy in action movies since Chronicles of Riddick (Yes, I know he was in LOTR first but Riddick is what made me look him up on IMDb and follow his work). To be honest, the character of Kennex feels like Dr. McCoy (Urban’s role in the Star Trek reboot) opted for a career in law enforcement.

A bonus here is that the effects are a lot of fun- plasma lasers and DNA mutations are just a few of the shiny doodads. The tech used in both Kennex’s apartment and in the police department made my fingers itch to play with it. Don’t think it’s a spoiler at this point to say that when Kennex loses his leg to the plasma weapon… well, it looked like it hurt.

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Of course, Karl Urban may be the lead but he’s not alone. Almost Human has a solid cast- Michael Ealy (recently seen in Flash Forward and Common Law), plays Dorian, a discontinued model synthetic (he doesn’t like that term) human that partners with Kennex. Lili Taylor (The Conjuring and Hemlock Grove are some of her more recent credits) appears as the police captain. Incidentally, she worked hard to get Kennex to come back to work at the precinct, but there’s something “off” about her. It’s unclear who else fits the regular or supporting roles based on the pilot as only these three get massive amounts of screen time, but I’d say it’s a safe bet Minka Kelly (Friday Night Lights) is going to be around for a while.

I am not going to lie- the start of the episode took a bit to warm up. I was open to that- I expect pilots to take a bit of time to build up and hook me. But by the time Dorian and Kennex started to talk and build a solid rapport, I’m sorry, I was ready to set my DVR to record a season. Bring on episode 2! I need to find out about “The Syndicate!”

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I mentioned that I caught two pilots… the second was the much hyped new project from geek-god, Joss Whedon, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Not quite a spin-off of Whedon’s recent smash hit Avengers film, nor a continuation, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. picks up after The Avengers and either during or after the recent Iron Man 3. Instead of focusing on the superheros of the world, S.H.I.E.L.D. introduces and focuses on a specific team that works to identify and connect with superheroes just starting out. The team is made up of two scientists (Fitz & Simmons), an operative considered one of the most dangerous men alive, and a driver; though I am willing to bet that driver has some underlying skills… Oh, and the team is led by Agent Coulson. That’s right, Coulson lives.

And yes, the how is touched on in the pilot episode, but I can’t tell you about it. You aren’t Level 7.

Let me begin by explaining why I am concerned- the hype. I have been hearing about this series, or at least about Whedon being connected to a Marvel television series, since August of last year. During the year since, we have been handed tidbits of information- that it would be S.H.I.E.L.D. based, who the characters are (and who is playing them), that J. August Richards would be appearing, etc etc. So much good news! And it truly seemed to be getting support from Marvel, ABC, and Disney. But those of us that are Whedon fans will always have a wary feeling when a Joss project is on the small screen. Every time I saw new information or videos leaked, the knot in my stomach tightened.

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The important thing to know is that I have seen the pilot. And not only is it good, it is amazingly good and all my fear about it being over hyped has been put aside. If ABC/Disney/Marvel continues to be supportive, this show will rock!

It opens with strong action sequences, introducing characters and situations, and setting a quick rhythm for the show. Unlike many pilots, there is no slow build-up to warm up to characters- the audience is thrown in head first. In what I hope will lead to a regular guest appearance, J. August Richards (Angel) appears as a hero in the making. His character is hinted at in some of the trailers, and I’m not going to spoil you- but he rocks! And has a really interesting arc in the episode. There are other guests who make appearances in the episode- Ron Glass and Cobie Smulders, have already been announced.

Besides the fun cast and the top notch writing (witty dialogue combining beautifully with storyline, as we have come to expect from this crew), there are the toys. No, the agents didn’t get their own hover carrier… but they have a plane. Clark Gregg said during the panel, “I don’t even know everything the plane does yet!” Personally, I want to play with the plane. If you’ve seen the trailers, you know about Lola. The only thing you need to know about Lola right now is not to touch her. Fitz and Simmons apparently have all the best toys- scanners, tools, and weapons, just to name a few. I’m willing to bet that if you’ve got a messy job that needs doing, they’ve got a tool for it.

To sum up- I was on the edge of my seat through the entire pilot presentation. Bring on the Fall!

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Review: Red 2 (2013)

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Let’s cut the crap and get to it.

Red 2 is not a good movie. For starters, there’s a whole lot of focus on Frank (Bruce Willis) and Sarah’s (Mary-Louise Parker) relationship… too much focus. There are a few cute, funny moments to come out of their sitcom-style relationship woes, but not enough to warrant so much time being spent on them. Red was about “old” people kicking younger, snarky people’s ass just to show they still have it- and that’s awesome. But Red 2 tries to be an action-rom-com, and by spreading its focus it screws up in all areas. And while Sarah was a fun, fairly relatable character in the first film, here she’s treated like a child by the other characters. The way everyone (Frank in particular) treats her makes you want to reach through the movie screen and start punching everyone in the gonads. Frank treats her like she’s a helpless two year old who can’t play by herself for more than a few minutes at a time for fear of her choking on her toys. A large part of the film is Frank saying some variation of “poor little Sarah needs protection,” and “don’t give the innocent kitten a gun” despite Sarah demanding a gun and trying to help the gang in whatever way she can. Frank having some general concern for his non-spy girlfriend is to be expected, but as written it’s tiresome and insulting. And just because she ends the flick in a cool situation doesn’t make up for the huge chunk of time we spend watching her screw up/get told not to screw up. Boooo! Write better female characters! Not even the awesomeness that is Dame Helen Mirren can make up for this boring and unfunny storyline.

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And if you were counting on the action to save this film, count again. Sometimes, if a movie’s bad, the action can at least keep you pumped despite the poo poo plot. Red 2 has no such thing going for it. There are a couple of scenes, mostly involving Byung-hun Lee, that are great, like a battle in a convenience store where a handcuffed Lee dishes out a heaping helping of cream filled whoop-ass, or the end action sequence, which had a great flow to it but seemed over all too soon. Outside of these two scenes, though, Red 2 keeps things PG-13 with a lot of quick cuts and implied action, depriving the audience of seeing Willis, Malcovich, and Mirren kick ass.

Red 2 had some moments of capturing that blend of action and humor that made the first film such a hit, but these moments are few, far between, and don’t stick with you. Combine that with a jumbled, mess of a story and you end up with a film that I’d only recommend to someone I don’t like.

 

Action Rating: 1.5 , out of 5!

 

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

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