AFC Classic: Gremlins 2: The New Batch!

All Request December! Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

Okay, so the first Gremlins was what was really requested, but it was a very long wait for the flick on Netflix and I love Gremlins 2: The New Batch, so I hope this will fulfill the Gremlin yearning by those who asked for it.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch is freakin’ hilarious, and fully equipped with cracked out, crazy, jokester Gremlins. In the sequel to Gremlins, Gizmo, the adorable Mogwai, returns to Billy’s (Zach Galligan) possession. Would you believe that even after what happened in the first film, silly Billy still doesn’t take proper precautions and Gizmo gets wet, meaning that where once there was one Mogwai now there are many. SCIENCE FACT: If you feed a Mogwai after midnight, it turns into a Gremlin. If you get a Gremlin or a Mogwai wet, it multiplies. So if you lock a single unsupervised Mogwai in an office building come sundown, by the time the sun comes up the place is gonna be filled to the brim with little green skinned Gremlins, and chaos will continue to ensue as the little buggers keep on multiplying and take over the whole office building.

Gremlins 2 is a truly funny movie, the entire thing is chock full of live action Looney Tunes level antics, not to mention a few moments of parody that make nods to other films.  Of course, my favorite parody moment is when Gizmo “gets pushed too far” and turns into a Mogwai Rambo. Heck, the thing even breaks down the fourth wall be having Leonard “Movie Man” Maltin giving a negative review of the first Gremlins flick, which of course the Gremlins don’t really care for, so they tie him up with torn up film. The Gremlins themselves are like very bad children, laughing hysterically at each other’s misfortune…and their own. One Gremlin is chugging a random bottle of chemicals as another Gremlin lights him up with a machine gun, and then the chemicals come pouring out of several holes in his chest. His Gremlin friends start laughing at him, and he starts laughing with them. I have to say, those crazy little bastards have a very contagious sense of giggly mischief. After the film was over all I wanted to do was throw ice cream at pedestrians and cackle like a madwoman. There’s nary a dull moment with Gremlins 2, so if you’re looking to laugh like a loon, look no further!

Time Until Gremlin Action: ~ 27 minutes until Gizmo spawns other Mogwais, who then turn into Gremlins.

Baddies: Freakin’ duh!

Best Gremlin Comeback: Kate tells the elevator to sound the alarm after it gets stuck. Then you hear several Gremlins making alarm sounds, “EENT EENT EENT EENT!” It’s sort of hard to convey that gag in text, but just know that I laughed my ass off at it.

Best Dressed: The Gremlins just go nuts and apparently raid like sixty wardrobe chests during their time at the Clamp Building. There were so many good outfits that it’s hard to pick a best, but if I had to I think it would have to be the transgender Gremlin. You see, this fellow got a hold of some gender-switching DNA juice, and then found himself going through… the change. He… wait, I’m sorry, I mean she comes out of it with long green hair, red lipstick, a tight, low cut polka-dot dress and high heels to match. Hubba hubba! How could anyone resist that!?!

Best Place a Gremlin Pops Out Of: I personally love it when the Gremlin pops out of a pot of soup. His eyes roll around like marbles caught in a hamster wheel and he laughs hysterically as he is covered in what looks like noodles and maybe onions.

Best Gremlin Kill: The owner of the big building, Clamp (John Glover), is surprise attacked by a Gremlin wearing a red sweater around his shoulders. They fight but then Clamp gets the upper hand, being five times bigger than a Gremlin, and he sticks the Gremlin’s pretty sweater in a paper shredder. You see the pieces of the sweater coming out the bottom and then you see a pile of green goop follow it as the Gremlin is shredded. UG! Friggin’ nasty! And friggin’ awesome!

Action Rating: 1 Santa-Gremlin out of 5

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

Gremlins review requested for their Christmas stockings by Michele Pearson (@chani31f), Sam Arshawsky (@TheKappa023), Justin Calvert (@JustinCalvert).