Well before he was Peacemaker, shooting villains (sometimes) and eating hypothetical dicks for liberty, he was Danny Fisher, a police officer caught in a bad situation when the international terrorist he caught comes a-knockin’ for revenge. 12 Rounds of revenge, to be exact.
12 Rounds is exactly what it seems- an action movie where the plot matters minimally and the action happens maximally. Director Renny Harlin set out to make something that isn’t another “ glossy, polished Hollywood movie,” and he accomplished that goal. It’s a rough-and-tumble flick that gets going fast and keeps rolling the whole time. Let me break it down for you: There were 9 minutes at the beginning composed of non-action, the first action sequence lasted close to 10 minutes, and then the movie didn’t let up at friggin’ all until the end. So out of the whole movie there were maybe 17-20 minutes of non-action. That’s freakin’ amazing! Even after the big finale it cut right to the end credits. Seriously, there were about 45 seconds of epilogue and then BOOM end credits. It didn’t show them twenty years in the future or even the next day. Things explode, then end credits. No teasers for 13 Rounds or the 12RCU (Twelve Rounds Cinematic Universe), just wham-bam-thank-you-John-Cena-Man.
Now, with everything I’ve just said in mind, I’m going to couch all of that praise by saying that the action, though it completely overflowed, kind of lacked a WOW factor. 12 Rounds consisted mostly of Fisher driving cars around racing to the next destination before time was up, being strung along by the too-smart-to-be-humanly-possible villain (Aiden “Regular-Sized-Fingers IRL” Gillen) the entire time. There wasn’t anything that makes your jaw drop open or makes you shout “Holy Crap!” John Cena plays a “regular guy” character, and with that regularity comes a general lack of amazing stunts.
One thing I really got a kick out of, though, was making kissy noises whenever the two main characters were having a moment. Fisher and his cop partner, Hank (Brian J. White), have a palpable chemistry that kept the movie bromantic even when other elements failed to impress. Often they’d look into each other’s eyes longingly and make comments about how they’ve never let each other down in the past, or how they can always count on each other. What I really wanted was these two to take the movie in an unexpected, but much more tender, direction. Alas, it never comes to pass.
Best Line: Sometimes I like to highlight the best line of the film. In this review, I want to highlight the generally normal, mundane dialogue in almost 100% of 12 Rounds. Normal guys talkin’ bout normal things.
Best Explosion: There’s a helicopter that’s been shot chock full o’holes and Fisher plus his girlfriend leap out of the choppah into a pool right as a combination of leaky fuel and inaccurate gunplay make for an exploding helicopter.
Best Kill: Miles Jackson’s girlfriend is with him when he gets caught. Jackson tells her to run. So she does, and she runs right out in front of a SUV. BAM!!!! Road kill! Then we get a lingering shot on her smashed, bloody body. Didn’t her mama ever teach her to look both ways before crossing the street?
Action Rating: 4 Pugs with guns, out of 5
FINAL NOTE: Holy crap, apparently there’s a whole trilogy of these movies now.
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
