Ong-Bak (2003): Who Needs a Budget When You’re This Good?

Certain situations call for certain action heroes. Daughter kidnapped by human traffickers? You call Bryan Mills. Office building taken over by terrorists? You call John McClane. The village statue of Ong-Bak gets defaced, decapitated, and deported off with a band of ruffians?

You call Ting.

In Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior, Ting (Tony Jaa) runs around Muay Thai-ing the asses of every ruffian and ne’er-do-well in between him and his goal of returning his village’s beloved statue’s head. “The fate of the whole village lies in your hands,” one villager tells him as he sets out on his journey. Geez! No pressure or anything. He should have added, “If you don’t find the missing Ong-bak head, we will just all die from dehydration, but hey bring me back a Big Mac. I love those things!”

You might be wondering what is so good about this here picture show they call Ong-bak. Don’t question me! But since I’m nice, I will tell you a few awesome things about this flick. For starters, as previously stated, Jaa is amazing. He is a highly skilled martial artist and performed all of his own stunts in Ong-bak without any assistance. These stunts are not just getting into fights and kicking butt. There is one scene where he is running from baddies and he jumps over cars, under cars, over tables, and my personal favorite, THROUGH A TINY BARBED WIRE HOOP! He is so amazing and so fast that they have to replay some of his moves in slow motion. Also, Ong-bak gets the award for shortest fight. The very first fight you see Ting engage in (Jaa), it’s not even a fight. The opponent comes at Ting, Ting moves his leg and BAM! Fight is over! That’s it. He didn’t even break a sweat…he barely even moved.

Another great thing about Ong-bak is a move that I have come to call The Ong-bak. Now, I know that all of the fighting moves have names of their own, but I don’t have the Muay Thai instruction manual so I’ve assigned my own names. The Ong-bak is when Jaa jumps in the air and comes down on his opponent with an elbow or knee so hard that it collapses them into a pile of pain and misery. This happens a lot! At one point he ong-baks someone so hard, the guy’s motorcycle helmet splits in two.

Ong-bak is chock full of terrifically unique action. Tony Jaa, director Prachya Pinkaew, and fight choreographer Panna Rittikrai all believed in this project so much that they built it from the ground up with zero budget, just a demo reel and a lot of heart. They’ve all gone on to have terrific careers, with Tony Jaa starring in numerous action movies such as the rest of the Ong-Bak trilogy and even Furious 7 and Expendables 4!

I love Ong-Bak. I want Ong-Bak. Somebody buy this movie for me because apparently I am stupid and don’t own it yet!  

Time until action: ~ 22 minutes

Baddies: Komtuan, a wheel chair bound, weird mechanical voice-box havin’ crimelord.

Best Friendly Command: “And don’t jerk off all over the floor.”

Best Takedown: Ahhhh, there are just too many awesome takedowns. Jaa owned everyone in this movie. Anyway, in the end, Ting is fighting the Komtuan’s second in command, and they’re having quite the showdown. Trying to end the battle for good, Ting uses the baddie as a stepping stool. He runs up his body and comes back down with an Ong-Bak elbow so hard you see blood squirt out the top of the baddie’s head. Good grief, Charlie Brown! That’s one powerful Ong-bak.

Best Explosion: Ting and Humlae are chasing a baddie and his gang in tuk-tuks (similar to golf carts). Zaniness ensues when one tuk-tuk crashes. Another tuk-tuk slams into the first one knocking the first one up into the air doing flips. While the first tuk-tuk is spinning in the air, a tuk-tuk pile up happens underneath and then they all explode. BAM!

Action Rating: 5 Tony Jaas Saving the Earth using Muay Thai to Send a Meteor Ong-Bak to where it came from, out of 5

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!