Christmas Heist – Your Target: Santa! (You’re Really Making the Naughty List This Time) |

Action Flick Chick: You’re pulling a heist. Target is Santa. Your first concern is?

Shandon Bowden: How to stay warm in the north pole.
Jerry M. Snowbarger Jr.: Bernard, he always seems to be one step ahead…
Brenna Shultz: Elves with attitude.
Clara Mathews: Reindeer have huge atlers and they are mean.
Jim Mack McGee: I may need to seek psychiatric help
Arturo R. Garcia: Cut off all communications. You don’t want the Missus calling for backup. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB1FxEQG57s
Adrian Farley: Do I match my weapons with my outfit or do I go outlandish.
Brian Knox: The fact that Lee Majors is there w/a minigun!
Zack Parks: The elves….
Todd Caldwell: Ninja Elves.
Jeff Kerman: Sninjas.
Ricardo Recio: He knows when your awake…..gonna need to some how spoof neurowaves.
Chucky Chuck: how do I get up the chimney with the gifts !
Coy Rayos: I’m more afraid of their first line of defense…snowmen with nunchucks.
Stuart Hasty: Santa is not real, so how do I put on a ruse to fool the person paying me to do the heist
Andrew Gjovik: remember the razor wire tinsel from the second Santa Clause movie? Trip wires mad of that
John Zee Turning: Santa and his henchmen against each other; the elves, Mrs. Claus, the reindeer, the Easter Bunny, and the militant lesbian that loves men… So convince Santa that Mrs. Claus and the militant lesbian are having an affair and then encourage him to seek out and record a video of him and the Easter Bunny having a homosexual/furry tryst to send to Mrs. Claus in retribution…Then just live broadcast said tryst for all the little elves and reindeer to get a big eyeful. So the Easter Bunny doesn’t want to help Santa Claus anymore because he tried to shove his candy cane up his no-no place. Mrs. Clause leaves Santa Claus cause he’s into giant male bunnies. The reindeer and elves don’t want to have anything to do with Santa the sexual furry predator. And the militant lesbian that loves men? Heh…everybody knows they don’t really exist. 😉
Christina Duncan: Rudolph and that stupid red nose of his giving me away!
William Dana Arnold: Ninja’s with guns
Greg Dow: Making sure I can actually Kill something! Hey I am simple minded!
Pascal Cooper: where i will put all the **** once i jack christmas
Michael Potter: How to mask my scent from Reindeer.
Justin Lambright: where the mall security guards are posted and when…
John Ferrigno: Getting through his elaborate security system. If he can watch eery single person on the planet, the security at his own home must be insane!
Jacinta Brown Baca: Making the naughty list next year.
B.j. Boothe: rudolphs laser nose.
Scott Hillman: neutralizing him permenently. You whouldn’t want him a loose end. After all he knows when you’ve been sleeping.
Alex Langley: The elves. They are legion, after all.
Veronica Dorkmaster: Those damn elves.
Stephen Summerlin: nasty Reindeer
William G. Hamrick Jr. : Timing. When is the best time to hit the jolly ol’ man. The quickest way into and out of the facility.
Scott Ferguson: My reply is on twitter .. or as I like to call it .. “the all seeing stalker bot 2000”
Aaron Matthew Kaiser: Mistletoe. It’s always the mistletoe that causes my heists to derail.
Kanu Digit: Santa has the power to travel all over the planet in one night, so he obviously has the ability to control space/time. He also has an army of elves to do his bidding. But what I would worry about would be the magical flying reindeer. They can fight on the ground and up in the air. Put some guns and missiles on them, killing machines. Rudolph can probably use his nose as a death ray now that he is older. All he has to do is focus and ZZZZAAAPPP!!!

Action Flick Chick: North Pole’s security is low while Red One is out. Better target for tonight’s heist – his sleigh or HQ?

Alexander Wolfe: Kidnap the elves and force them to make you toys all year long!
Chris Bryan: Obviously his HQ, there may be an army of elves there but c’mon, what’s the worst they can do? I wouldn’t wanna mess with Santa personally, dude’s a powerful magician.
David H. Ampton: Your question makes me think of this movie: http://youtu.be/9RQlikX4vvw
Drink Moxie: Have to go with sleigh it’s a fairly easy procedure you can drug cookies and milk to knock him out. Or go with my choice buy a compound epoxy coat inside chimney with part A place part B around tree once big guy stuck raid sleigh
John Ferrigno: Best Christmas post EVER!
Justin Lambright: I would attack the sleigh, commandeer it, then go to hq, access all the naughty/nice files, and track down my next girlfriend!
Kanu Digit: What are you attacking for? That is the problem. It seems once you determine what you can sell you have your target. Logically the flying reindeer chow is the best target. If it makes the plain reindeer fly it probably works with other creatures. Yes, some genetic mutation can occur (laser noses) but one incident after 1000 years is pretty good. I say hit the toy factory full on as a diversion and send a squad to the barn to secure some enhanced reindeer food. The elves will be out partying so the resistance should be minimal. Worse case, grab Mrs. Claus and hold her for ransom incase the reindeer food comes up bust. Just remember to treat Mrs. Claus good to stay on the nice list and Santa won’t be able to find your location. Or you can use non Christians in your team the only worry there is if the CIA gets involved, targets you as terrorists, and sends in the Delta Force.
Mark Tickler: Sure, Red One is wheels-up and won’t be back to Polar Central for hours, but there are still plenty of elves to contend with if you’re ill-advised enough to attempt an infiltration. Remember, elves are ancient and have seen it all; bring your “A” game, get your butt kicked anyway. The sleigh is hardly a soft target, either. Just ’cause R1 leaves his rig on the roof while he does his thing in the house doesn’t mean there are no counter-measures in place. Ever deal with twelve angry, determined caribou? Those antlers have a purpose, ask any wolf. And what makes you think you can just jump in the driver’s seat and make Donder & Co listen to you? I see then doing to you what that Israeli airline pilot did to those hijackers- they’ll perform a slow roll and introduce you to the harsh side of gravity. And the sack….. no, that gives me the willies….. some kinda eldritch space-time thing is happening there… no way would I reach into that bag. Kidnap Mrs Claus? Look, Kringle’s been leaving her alone on Christmas night for a long time now, and I’m willing to bet she’s WAY more formidable than she looks. I’m thinking this- bide our time, a few months is all, and the real prize will make his appearance…. The Easter Bunny has to be getting all that chocolate from somewhere, right…?
Michael Overton: I wanna see if I can get a ride on one of those reindeer!
Veronica Dorkmaster: HQ- you don’t want to mess with those reindeer.
William L Turcan: I say hit the sleigh.

All these answers came from Facebook. Tweeps provided many more on Twitter, but #NewNewNewTwitter fills the naughty list. Changes to Twitter ridiculously complicate the process of sorting responses. 🙁

Action Archive Christmas Edition Volume 1
* Die Hard (1988)
* Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)
* Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) with Mogwai Science Facts
* Home Alone (1990)
* The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
* Reindeer Games (2000): Flaming Santa!
* White Christmas (1954) vs. Black Christmas (1974)