Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

AFC note: A few minor spoilers are about; but no worries, I don’t talk about anything that will spoil a major plot or action point.

I love Transformers. It’s not a secret, so of course I was extremely excited about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I was as hyped as a Stunticon drunk off of energon. I was like a little kid cracked out on a ton of sugar running around until he runs into a door and knocks himself out. What a great feeling! And what a great movie! It was just what I’d hoped it would be: balls to the wall Transformers!

Peter Cullen reprises his role as Optimus Prime in this action packed sequel. Prime and the other guys save the world again from the evil Decepticons. Those Decepticons really had it coming to them- they definitely haven’t joined the ‘Go Green’ campaign with all the destruction of virgin pine trees they did in this flick. They didn’t even use the trees for anything, they just smashed ‘em up for the hell of it.

The other guys include a butt-ton of Autobots (particularly everyone’s favorite yellow bug-themed autobot, Bumblebee) and Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) and his hot girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). Transformers 2 gives you a little bit of everything: comedy, suspense, and a retarded amount of action, and some copious amounts of booty.

Speaking of which, man, did they pull some cheap shots with Megan Fox though. The very first shot of Fox onscreen was of her lying across a motorcycle with some short shorts on. Bam! Fox’s butt is right in your face. I’m sure there won’t be any complaints about that one though.

Anyway, the action is the main focus of Transformers 2. The plot…not so much. There are some small plot holes here and there, and some larger plot holes big enough for Optimus Prime to drive through and more than a couple of things that just don’t quite make sense; but you know what, plot doesn’t matter in this one because the Autobots are tearin’ some Decepticons new holes to poop out of. So, I am willing to overlook all the other stuff. Just keep in mind if you aren’t a Transformers fan, this might not be the movie for you; but, if you love cars, robots, and/or action, this is the flick to see.

Go see Transformers 2. It is packed to the brim with fight sequences and rather simple humor, but still funny nonetheless.

Time until initial action starts: ~ 1 minute

Time until real action starts: ~ 5 minutes

Big Bad Baddies: Decepticons

Best Line: There were two lines that were really great. A Decepticon is talking about Mikaela (Fox). “You’re hot but you ain’t too bright.” Ding, Ding, Ding! We have a winner! Tell the Decepticon what he’s won, Rich! Then there’s the classic line spoken by Optimus Prime, “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” Oh Optimus, you’re the best Transformer anyone could ask for. Keep it up, you ole truck, you!

Best Kill: Minor Spoiler Alert: I think Bumblebee really hates Decepticon cats. I think he picked up a new game called skin the cat. Bumblebee gets his hands on a Decepticon in the form of a huge Jaguar and completely pulls the spine out. It was awesome!

Best Explosion: Minor Spoiler Alert: There are a ton of explosions. This is just one of the cool ones. Decepticons dropped from the sky and landed on an aircraft carrier. It exploded and sank like the freakin’ Titanic.

Action Rating: 5 Optimus Primes giving the thumbs up, out of 5.

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.