The Specialist (1994) – Not so special
Posted By Action Flick Chick on May 20, 2009
WARNING: This article contains colorful language not suitable for children under the age of 6. It also has spoilers galore about a movie from 1994.
If you want to see a good action film, or even a mediocre action film, then don’t watch The Specialist. There are a few good things about this flick, like when the end credits start rolling. There are a couple of explosions and maybe a fist fight or two but for the most part The Specialist was just downright boring.
Sylvester Stallone plays Ray, a specialist in the category of making big booms. He is able to make unique and untraceable bombs to take out the bad guys, sounds good so far. His partner, Ned, played by James Woods, is also a specialist but with less morality than Ray. Ned likes to get the job done even if innocent little girls are killed in the process. So these two had a falling out and split-zky. Later, May, played by Sharon Stone, hires Ray to kill these guys who killed her parents. Ned was behind the plan trying to get revenge on Ray…It’s just one big circle jerk and I am going to spoil everything I can. So, Ned gets killed by one of Ray’s bombs; May and Ray fall in love and drive off into the sunset EVEN THOUGH SHE BROKE RULE #3. The penalty for breaking Ray’s rule #3 was supposed to be death, he was pretty friggin’ clear about that, but did Ray follow through with it, NO! He was being lead around by his dick and forgave May, because she was just too sexy. Well, I have to admit, Stone was pretty hot in this flick, but rules are rules!
Here are the rules for those of you who don’t know. Ray specifically lays out these rules to May when he agrees to take the job of killing the guys who killed her parents:
Rule #1: Don’t go near them again (May was sleeping with one of the bad guys to get close enough to kill them herself before she hired Ray).
Rule #2: Don’t contact me, I’ll contact you.
Rule #3: IF THIS IS A SETUP, I’LL KILL YOU.
Well, it was a setup and is May dead? Nope! She’s riding the Italian Stallion off into the sunset. Another thing I didn’t dig about The Specialist is that all of the men except Stallone are big jerks to women. May gets abused and controlled all throughout the movie, and it all boils down to bad guy dick measuring contests. I know we aren’t supposed to like the baddies, but she never gets vindicated for all the crap she went through. She punches Ned in the face once, but the other guys had their fun and then Ray killed them. I am a little prejudiced- I like to see women kick ass and this just didn’t deliver.
Now that I’ve basically said this movie sucks, it does have one unique aspect. All of the kills expect maybe one, is done by explosions. It is a very hands off kind of movie with only maybe two fist fights and the rest is bombs. Oh yeah, and there is a steamy shower scene between Stallone and Stone: very naked and very wet. The Specialist also got nominated for some awards: Razzie Awards including Worst Picture, Worst Actor: Stallone, Worst Supporting Actor: Rod Steiger, and they won Worst Actress: Sharon Stone, and Worst Screen couple for Stone and Stallone. Magnificent!
Do yourselves a favor and skip this one. You and a friend would spend your time more wisely by spending the day sitting in an enclosed area farting up a storm to see how long you can take it before you have to open the door.
Time until initial action starts: ~3 minute
Time until real action starts: ~ 19 minutes
Big Bad Baddies: Miami drug dealers
Best Line: Ned states this about Ray: “They’d better be F’ing magicians because this is one very impressive man!”
Best Kill: One of the no name drug dealers is in his car and a bomb blows up. It shows him doing summersaults in the air still strapped to his seat while on fire.
Best Explosion: At the end a whole warehouse blows up.
Action Rating: 1 ½ flaming mob bosses exploding out of their car while still strapped to their seat, out of 5
Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.
About The Author
I remember two things about this movie: a tripwire type detonator on the warehouse floor and that bizarre shower scene. Actually, mainly just the shower scene and how traumatized I was watching it. Stallone looked like this massive muscular man-growth sprouting from Stone. Wasn’t she about the size of his right quad? *shudder*
The shower scene is mind-scarring. I wanted to ogle Stone, but Stallone’s steroid-mangled chest kept pulling my eyes away like a car wreck.
I liked the Woods kill where he gets hit twice, actually. And the preposterous setup: “he’s rigger, and I’m the trigger.” apparently Stallone’s character could set up bombs but wasn’t qualified to press the button…
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