The Protector (2005)

Don’t go messing with another man’s elephant! That’s war waging behavior and you don’t want to bring that kind of war upon yourself…especially when Tony Jaa is involved! Take it from The Protector.

Sometimes you just feel like watching bad guys get their asses beat. No other film genre can have a plot such a simple plot and yet be so awesome. That’s why I love action movies! Kham’s (Tony Jaa) elephant he was assigned Protector of was stolen. So he goes to Australia and uses his Muay Thai fightin skills to beat plenty of asses and breaks a lot of limbs until he finds his elephant.

The action in The Protector consists mostly of Jaa performing martial arts. Tony Jaa can do some pretty amazing things, and he does his own stunts. There was some use of CGI in this film unlike in Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior. I think I can forgive that though since one use of the CGI was a glass breaking in a four minute long, uninterrupted shot of Jaa running up stairs and breaking faces. Four minutes long in one continuous shot! Awesome!

The final showdown, however, consists of a lot of breaks…breaking arms and legs. There is another 3-4 minute action scene of Jaa breaking limbs. I can’t believe I’m saying this but it kind of went on for too long. I got a bit tired of watching men coming in through the door and Jaa debilitating them. You would think someone would look around at the carnage of men lying on the floor with their arms and legs in unnatural positions and think to get the eff out of there. But, they don’t. So Jaa just keeps on breaking. Check out all the dudes on the floor after the fight!

Time Until Jaa Action: ~ 12 minutes

Best Explosion: Kham is being chased by the baddies on a boat. Up ahead of Kham, there is a helicopter getting ready to pelt him with bullets. So Kham suddenly turns his boat sideways so that the bad guys ramp off of him and slam into the helicopter causing a considerable explosion.

Action Rating: 4 Fancy Elephants, out of 5!

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!