Push (2009)

Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning light up the screen in the sort-of-action film Push. I have to say that despite its slow pace, I liked this flick. For once, I was actually into the story more than the action, which is good because it had an interesting story and very little action. One perk to this movie is that you get to see a bit o’ Fanning pretending to be drunk. I thought Fanning was really good in Push. However, she is wearing a kinda short skirt, and there were a couple of times where I was so scared there might be an accidental panties shot. Call me old fashioned but I really don’t want to see 13-year-old Dakota Fan-ties on the big screen, 5 more years, maybe, but not right now. Don’t worry, they managed to keep her covered…and to all you pervs, I know you’re disappointed but it’ll be okay.

Lemme drop a little vo-cab for those of you who have not seen the film and just plain ole won’t understand what I’m saying. Movers are people with telekinesis. Watchers can see the future. Pushers can implant ideas and memories into other people’s heads. Bleeders are able to scream at such high frequencies that it can shatter things around them and inflict damage or death upon the people around them. There are more, but these are the only ones that matter for now.

So, a pusher, mover, and watcher team up to steal a drug from The Division, people who are out to get others with special powers. Nick (Evans) is still learning how to control his ability and that is why his powers don’t get used very much throughout the film. Frankly, his powers suck at the beginning. It’s like watching a classical guitarist try to play the accordion, awkward and clumsy, and it just ain’t happenin’. There is a lot of drawing pictures of the future and running after this drug, leaving room for very little action. I was very sad about this but I was enjoying the story so I wasn’t pushed into an action withdrawal rage. I’ll let you slide by this time, Push. I hope a sequel will incorporate much more action now that the foundation has been set. You’ve been warned!

On a side note, how awesome would it be to have one of these powers? Hmmmm, if I could choose one, I think I would choose being a pusher, definitely. No… a watcher. No… I would rather be a mover. Vegas, here I come, baby! Oh hell, they are all very good in their own way, and I would take an ounce of any special powers I could get my hands on.

As a matter of fact, I think I am a mover of some sort, because I always manage to move objects right in front of my line of walking. Some say its clumsiness, I call it skill. It takes great skill to move the only chair in the room right behind me so that when I turn around I fall over it flat on my face. Seeing this movie, I feel vindicated. I know that it’s not just human clumsiness, it’s a special power. YES!! WATCH OUT X-MEN, HERE I COME!

Time until the action starts: ~ 2 minutes

Big bad baddies: The Division

Best Line: “You look like sh**.” Spoken by the sweet little Dakota Fanning.

Best Kill: A bleeder is bleeding the place dry towards the end. Another mover finally builds up enough strength for one last burst. He picks up a broken bamboo stick, a really thick one, and moves it into the bleeder’s neck. That shuts him up instantly, and kills him as well.

Best Suicide: A Division agent has messed up an assignment for the last time. The main bad guy tells him to stick his gun in his mouth and pull the trigger. Well, this agent remembers that he unloaded his gun earlier and that there are no bullets in it. So he does what is suggested to him…only his gun is fully loaded and blows the agent’s head off. Did I mention that the main bad guy is a pusher? Yep, everything the agent remembered was a total lie. Sucks, don’t it!

Best Explosion: A bleeder is doing what he does best in a restaurant that is filled with fish tanks and what started out to be live fish. Well, the fish soon explode in the tanks. You just see big bursts of blood in each fish tank right before those too explode. Push is lacking in any traditional kind of explosion, but has got exploding fish galore!

Rating: 2 exploding fish, out of 5