Paranormal Activity (2009): Imagine Demons

Paranormal Activity should be called “Did You Hear That?” because it’s what the characters say to each other and what you’ll be saying to your friends during 90% of the movie. This mega low budget horror flick started small, but ended with a wide release and a box-office-annihilating haul of cash (which then lead to countless sequels and spinoffs). I’m not really surprised, though. It’s a sharp indie horror film, one that definitely freaked this chick out- perfect for Halloween!

Paranormal Activity had a very, very small cast. The two main characters were Katie Featherston, who played Katie, and Micah Sloat, who played Micah (the story must be real since they have the same names of the “characters,” right). Of course, I can’t forget the great performance by the demon. It did a great job being invisible and creating loud noises and sometimes grabbing things.

The total running time for Paranormal Activity is 1 hour and 39 minutes, and approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes of that is as boring as watching a chess tournament in slow motion. I know I’m sending you mixed signals about the movie, just hear me out. I think that boring the audience for part of it might have been the entire plan. They start off with minor haunting stuff, with only an occasional noise or door slightly moving because they knew I would come prepared to be scared and have my guard up. So with not much happening, you start to let your guard down and become extremely bored, wondering if the demon could just eat them already. Then, when you have completely let your guard down, they hit you with ~ 20 minutes or more of really creepy stuff and then BAM! They end the movie. So I got left feeling really tense and freaked out in the end and ended up loving the movie despite all the other boring stuff. This movie was all about building up the suspense for the grand finale. Many, many other lesser imitators have taken this approach to found footage horror, only in their case it comes across as lazy mimicry rather than creative use of budget.

Here is one little piece of advice I learned after watching Paranormal Activity: Whether you believe in ghosts/demons, or not, if your partner says, “I think I’m being haunted by a demon,” just give them a kiss, tell them to call you when it’s over, and then drive on outta there. What’re you gonna do against a demon? Ain’t no shame in getting the hell out.

Since I am the Action Flick Chick, I’ll review the “action” of Paranormal Activity, such as it is. Or isn’t, as the case may be, because as I’ve mentioned there’s basically nothing happening for 90% of the film. So, if you can get through the first part of the movie (which really isn’t that hard to do), I would recommend this flick for a good scare, but not for anyone looking for the kind of action you’ll find in most of the movies I review, and this definitely isn’t for anyone who likes their horror movies unsubtle and SFX-heavy. If you haven’t seen this, and you’ve got the time to be patient, check out Paranormal Activity and see how the pants-pooping series began.

Time until the initial Paranormal Activity Begins: ~21 minutes

Best Line: “Did you hear that?”

Best Judgment Call: I can sum this up in one sentence: The best judgment call is when the psychic basically said, “Screw you guys, I’m going home,” and got the hell out of the haunted house.

Biggest Lapse in Judgment: When Katie felt like she was being haunted by a demon, she got the phone number of a demonologist from a psychic and suggests that they call him. But, no! Micah is trying to play big, macho, “I’m the man of the house and I will take care of this problem.” He convinces Katie to let him try things his own way before they call in the demonologist. Good decision, Micah! How do you plan on defeating a supernatural demon that you can’t even see? Hang garlic around your neck, throw powder in the air, and then, when you see the demon, throw a sheet over his head and throw him out the door? That will totally work if the demon is the Scooby-Doo variety, as in it’s a dude in a rubber mask, not an actual friggin’ demon. Needless to say, but I’m going to say it anyway, his plans did not work. It only made the demon angrier and Micah didn’t fare well from that. So Mr. Man of the house, how does it feel to get your ass kicked by a demon? Now, I’m just going out on a limb here, but I bet you wish you would’ve just called the demonologist in the first place.

Action Rating: 0 Demonic Facebook Friend Requests, out of 5

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

Related posts:
* Paranormal Activity (2009): Did You Hear That?
* Movie Chicks on Horror Flicks: Paranormal Activity (plus an even scarier nerd in the night)
* Action Heroine vs. Horror Heroine – What’s the Diff?
* Movies That Gave You Childhood Nightmares
* Coming Attraction: Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)