Rob Zombie’s Halloween II 2009 (Spoilers Galore!)

Beware of the spoilers! I’m warning you now. I’m going to spoil this whole movie. If you don’t want everything spoiled, you can read my spoiler free review posted below. Or you can just plain suck it up and read this review.

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Let’s start things off with a bang: Michael Myers is killed  by a combination of police gunfire and sister Laurie stabbing him, which leads to Laurie Strode being shown in a psychiatric room smiling evilly as she hallucinates her and Michael’s real mother, Deborah, standing at the end of her room with a white horse. That’s the ending. I know, right. I just vomited it up for everyone to see, but in all fairness, I did warn you.

Wow! You know what I think? I think it would really suck to be a Myers. It just seems like you don’t stand a chance. You are either killed really young by your younger brother/child, or stalked for years and go crazy from seeing the horrifying murders that your brother intended to be you. I know family reunions are usually bad for everyone, but I think Laurie Strode wins the worst family award. At least the Myers family doesn’t have to worry about renting a big room, or RSVPing, or even having it catered because everyone else is dead. It’s just Michael and Laurie. I’m glad he still makes time to see Laurie. You can just see the real family love in all the stalking and “I’m going to kill you” stuff that happens. It’s quite the family film.Halloween2_02

The plot of Rob Zombie’s Halloween II differs somewhat from the original 1981 Halloween II directed by Rick Rosenthal, written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill. In Zombie’s Halloween II, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is running from Michael in the hospital setting while he is killing everyone, which is what happens in the 1981 version; however, in the new one, right before Michael is about to get her she wakes up! Gasp! It was all a nightmare based on what happened a year ago. So the other girl who survived the first Rob Zombie’s Halloween, Laurie’s adoptive sister Annie, completely gets sliced up in this one and dies for realsies. Poor girl, she just keeps getting the sharp end of the knife. Laurie’s two gal pals are killed as well. Yeah, you should probably just say no to friends who are or might be related to a Myers. Their friends are always screwed.

So what else can I spoil? Oh yeah, so Michael kidnaps Laurie and takes her to a shack where he’s been hiding out. Laurie has gone crazy by this point and is hallucinating Deborah (Sheri Moon Zombie) and a young Michael holding her down. Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) willingly walks into the shack to try to lure Michael out, thinking that he’s the only one who can stop him. What makes Dr. Loomis so special? Does he have beer flavored nuts or something? Beer flavored peanuts, folks. Get your minds out of the gutter. So of course Michael slices up Dr. Loomis with no hesitation, which I thought was kinda funny. You accomplished a lot Dr. Loomis. Good job. A sniper then hits Michael with a couple of shots after he kills Dr. Loomis  (I  would be so pissed if I were Dr. Loomis. Couldn’t take the shot any earlier, Mr. Sniper?) and Michael falls on some farming equipment that has spikes sticking up. Then we really get to see the crazy Laurie unfold. She goes crazy stabbing her brother, and then with one final stab to the head she plunges that knife into Mikey’s skull for good. Then she walks out of the shack wearing his mask. Creepy. By this time, that girl really needs a bath and a comb, and you know that it stinks up in that mask.

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So I am interested to see how differently this Halloween franchise will unfold from the original. Michael is clearly dead and it looks like Laurie has become the demented one, but Michael has died like a million times so, who knows. Halloween II had a lot of action…a lot of murders. It also made me jump a few times so I am going to say job well done, Rob Zombie. It is exactly what you expect from a slasher movie, lots of gore and a super strong killer that no one can take down but his sister, yet it deviates from the other 1981 Halloween II plot enough to keep it interesting. There were some problems with the lighting of the movie for me, though. It was really dark at times and I had no idea what I was looking at or how he was killing who.

Time until action: ~ 8 minutes.

Baddies: Michael Myers!

Best Line: “When I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.” Ooooh, finally a Dr. Loomis I can get behind.

Best Kill: We can be quick to judge people sometimes. Some of these horrific kills Michael does are really just accidents. For example, Michael is staring at some random guy like he always does, just minding his own business taking in his surroundings. Mr. random guy thinks his balls are so big that he can take down the seven foot Meyers. Well, he quickly goes from a Mr. to a Mrs. when Michael picks him up by the neck and slams him to the ground. Really, the guy could have tripped and Michael was trying to catch him, by the throat. Then, I think Michael just wanted to compare his foot size with this guys head to see which one was bigger, but he’s so big he doesn’t know his own strength. He ends up stomping the guy in the head. He must have lost his balance or something…3-4 times. See, completely an accidental kill.

Best Explosion: No explosion. In the 1981 Halloween II where the hospital explodes at the end with Michael and Dr. Loomis inside. Halloween II is completely lacking in this area.

Action Rating: 3 ½ Conveniently Camouflaging Trees, out of 5

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Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

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About Action Flick Chick

Action Flick Chick Katrina Hill, author of the books Action Movie Freak and 100 Greatest Graphic Novels , learned to appreciate all things action at a young age by sneaking into the room while her two older brothers watched action movies and horror. At ActionFlickChick.com, she shares her love of these films with everyone, along with interviews, news, and whatever else she happens to choose. G4TV crowned her their Next Woman of the Web champion, and she co-hosted MTV Geek’s live Comic-Con coverage. Her articles have appeared at sites including MTV.com, io9.com, Arcade Sushi, and Newsarama. Follow her as @ActionChick on Twitter. Base of operations: Dallas, Texas. Favorite Movie: Tremors (1990).
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12 Responses to Rob Zombie’s Halloween II 2009 (Spoilers Galore!)

  1. Kelly says:

    I want to see this movie as an animated film based on the illustration above. Brilliance!

  2. Pingback: » Rob Zombie’s Halloween II 2009 (Spoilers Galore!)

  3. MTF says:

    So, the way I took it, after seeing the film, was that it was in fact LAURIE who did all the killing. It’s obvious isn’t it? All the REAL killings happened after she found out wasn’t it? It had to ALL be in her head! Like in R.L. Stine’s THE BABYSITTER 3 or MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D, she became emotionally unstable and developed a split personality. I figured this would be the way it happened even before the movie. Rob doesn’t focus of the supernatural. He wanted his HALLOWEEN to be different. Am I the only one who feels this way?

  4. Pingback: » Rob Zombie’s Halloween II Trailer (Movie Chicks on Action, er, Horror Flicks)

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  6. Vincent says:

    Hum, MTF is really wrong. Why, each new film is supposed to have a “sixth sense” ending (it has a name, but I can’t remember it)? Like “in fact she is the killer”, “in fact these two people are one” or stuffs like that? No she doesn’t kill anybody, she just want to at the end. MTF, you didn’t understand the film. All the film s about the connection between Michael and Laurie. And both are real. Watch the film again and read Zombie’s interview.

    “Michael Myers is killed by a combination of police gunfire and sister Laurie stabbing him”
    Oops…Watch the film again. She wants to stab the psychiatrist, not the dead Michael Myers. That’s why she’s killed by the police. And yes, she is dead. It is clear because of the fade-in fade-out from her dead face to the white hall.

  7. deathmask23 says:

    SPOILER: I knew right from the moment she started smiling in the hospital that she was the REAL killer!
    Besides when mommy tells michael to bring her home as in all the visions of mommy Michael is already there with her(DEAD)!

  8. killstabkill says:

    There were a few things i could NOT stand in this movie. Michael grunting while he was killing. The fact that it went away from the bodies while he was stabbing them. and The huge dumpster at the hospital full of bodies? michael doesnt dispose of bodies. Its stupid, just like in the the friday the 13th zombie made. Jason DOES NOT run. But yet hes running in that movie. and Michaels mask is off half of this movie. he looks like hes 50.

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  10. I have a weird desire now to make a false blog. What is a good blog site to do this and let people know that its not really my thoughts but of my characters thoughts?.

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