District 9 (2009) Spoiler Free!

Mmmmm, CAT FOOD! Wouldn’t you just love a big can of cat food? If your answer is yes, then you have a weird taste in food and you might be an alien. Watch District 9 and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I think I’m safe in assuming I’m not an alien. I haven’t gotten down on all fours and knocked my cat out of the way so that I can eat her food, yet.

Now that we’ve established that I don’t eat cat food, I’ve noticed that most of the movies I have seen involving aliens are focused on how the aliens are bad and the people blow them up, which is awesome; however, District 9 finds a way to make you feel sorry for the aliens while still delivering some action, which is quite refreshing and interesting.

The basic plot of District 9 is centered around aliens living on earth. An alien ship gets stuck right over Johannesburg, South Africa, and when nothing comes out of it, the humans do what they do best and go busting their way up in their ship. They find a crap load of aliens who are all suffering from malnutrition and sickness. So then the humans do what they do best and keep them on earth in crappy government housing turned into a slum and then discriminate against them. Makes me proud to be human. The best part about this film is that it is an original idea. It’s not a remake. It’s not a sequel to a remake. It’s not a sequel to a prequel to a sequel of a remake (I’m looking at you, Scorpion King 2) It’s brand new and I was ready for something like this. And it only cost 30 million dollars, though you’d never ever know it based on the incredible special effects. Kudos!

District 9 was the most engrossing film I have seen in awhile. The story pulled me right in. This flick doesn’t have much in the way of action in the beginning, but then it goes from 0 to 69 in one second. From there you get a nice little stretch of some brutal action. I mean things exploding everywhere. AWESOME!

Bottom line: I really enjoyed this District 9. It had a great story with some action thrown in there. You might enjoy this film if you: like to see people explode, are into really cool alien design, like thoughtful science fiction, or are a fan of Peter Jackson.

Time until initial action: ~ 13 minutes

Time until real action starts: ~ 25 minutes

Best Line: In order not to spoil too much, I am going to be very vague, but this scene was really funny. The hero shot a dude, who promptly exploded. The hero’s friend said, “F***! I thought you said not to shoot anyone.” To which the hero replies, “He shot at me first!”

Best Kill: One of the baddies gets shot in the head with what looks like a hypertazer. It looks like he might just be stunned and then it happens. His head freakin’ explodes everywhere. It was gruesome. It was awesome. I’d gladly hit that buffet for seconds!

Action Rating: 2 ½ Cans of Cat Food, out of 5

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!