Beware spoilers below!
Last night’s highly anticipated premiere of Dexter’s seventh season has finally arrived! Season six ended such a hellaciously teasing cliff-hanger that I actually subscribed to Showtime just so I didn’t have to wait for season seven to come out on Netflix, as I normally do. You can feel proud of yourselves, Showtime, you got me. It took seven seasons, but you won.
SPOILERS BELOW!
The first episode “Are you…?” did not fart around. Finally, the world’s worst detective, Debra Morgan, has put two and two together to discover that Dexter is a serial killer. With the way the episode started, I thought they were going to have Debra believe Dexter’s lame-ass pack of lies when he explained how he lost his mind and killed Travis in a brief moment of insanity, but they didn’t. She finally uses her brain and learns the truth about her dear brother in whom she was in love with (That, by the way, was so freakin’ ridiculous I hope they drop it and act like it never happened). It’s a good episode, with many of the characters not being quite so blind to pieces of evidence screaming out to them “SOMETHING’S NOT RIGHT HERE!”
Here’s what happened:
Debra walked in on Dexter stabbing Travis at the end of the last season. This first episode picks up at the church where Debra proceeds to (understandably) freak out. Dexter does some quick thinking, saying that he fought with Travis knocked him out then just lost his mind-temporary insanity- and killed him. That’s pretty good, Dex, but that doesn’t explain the very specific set up with plastic wrap, knives, and his outfit. Debra decides to believe it for the moment and helps him stage it to look like a suicide. Dexter stabs Travis with a sword and then they burn the church to get rid of any evidence that might point to them. The one thing Dexter forgot about was his little blood slide that slipped into a vent in the floor.
When Dexter gets home he finds lab assistant Louis snooping in his apartment. Turns out he got on Dexter’s computer and got some kind of account info then cancelled the account. What a sly devil.
One thing I have noticed about Dexter is that smart African-American characters don’t seem to last very long. First Doakes goes the way of the dead people, Deb dates Anton for like four seconds before giving him the boot, and now it’s poor Mike’s turn. Before his untimely demise, Mike calls Debra and says it doesn’t make sense that Travis’ car wasn’t at the crime scene and that he’ll check it out first thing in the morning- those are the words of a dead man if I’ve ever heard them. He stops on the side of the road to help a guy with a flat, and opens the trunk, only to find a dead stripper. The guy shoots and kills Mike then steals his car.
The next day Debra realizes what Dexter was saying didn’t quite all add up- where did all the plastic wrap come from, the knives, etc. They get the call about Mike and go to assess the crime scene. Dexter secretly lifts a print from the crime scene, and Debra has a flash back to season 1 when she was wrapped up by Rudy/Brian/Ice truck killer and starts to piece together the similarities between the two scenes.
Dexter gets a match from the print he took from Mike’s crime scene and takes off from work. He tracks down the killer at the airport and tranquilizes him in the bathroom, then kills him in the unclaimed baggage area. Seriously, how does someone not notice this stuff? Airports are kind of famous for the ridiculous number of people snooping around and watching you on cameras.
Batista and Quinn go to the strip club to question everyone there, but no one’s talking because it’s run by the Ukrainian (I think) mob.
LaGuerta finds Dexter’s blood slide at Travis’s crime scene and puts in it the evidence stuff. She comes back later and asks Masuka if anyone has processed the evidence yet and he says no. She asks if anyone takes blood slides at the crime scene and says just Doakes who was framed as being the Bay Harbor Butcher. She steals the slide back and walks off suspiciously.
Debra calls Dexter’s apartment and Jamie says he’s at work, but Debra just came from work and Masuka said Dexter wasn’t there because he’s supposed to come in early. So Debra asks if he works late a lot and Jamie says “Oh yeah! He works all the time, crazy hours, sometimes all night.” Putting the pieces together, Debra ransacks his apartment while he’s out killing the other dude. She finds the hand, blood slides, and knives. Dexter comes home to find her there with all the evidence on the table. She point blank asks him did you kill all these people. He says, “Yes.” She asks, “Are you a serial killer?” He says, “Yes.”
Uh-oh, Dex! Looks like you’re in trouble! Worry not, you’ve got a guardian angel still watching.
Doakes is always watching, motherhumper.
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
