Commando (1985) Review: Arnold Schwarzenegger in Top Form for this Action Classic

JOHN. You know, it seems like you just can’t be a true action hero unless your name is John. That is the MANLIEST of men’s names. Just think about all the action hero characters whose name is John: John Spartan (Demolition Man), Detective John Kimble (Kindergarten Cop), John McClane (Die Hard), John Rambo (Rambo), John Connor (Terminator), and John Matrix (Commando).

…Now, granted, Kimble from Kindergarten Cop isn’t really an action hero, but he does get into some action in that movie and he’s played by Ahnold himself. My deepest sympathies to everyone out there whose name isn’t John because it looks like your chances of becoming an action hero are very slim. If you’re still feeling down, consider changing your name to John so you might have a chance at getting to break a friend out of a jungle prison or liberate a group of hostages from a European terrorist. 

In Commando, we have John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) single handedly taking down a metric butt-ton of people. How much is a metric butt-ton you ask? Oh, you’ll know when you see it. There’ll be a point in the movie where you’ll say to yourself “Man! He sure has killed a lot of people!” That, my friends, is a metric butt-ton moment. When Matrix’s daughter (Alyssa Milano) gets kidnapped, he spends the whole movie killing everyone until he finds his daughter by sheer process of elimination. It’s great fun and you get to see a wee-little Milano in one of her first movie roles. Then there’s Arnold! He is in tip-top shape in this one! It’s easy to forget that he was a bodybuilder first; but, in Commando, you won’t forget that fact for a second. This movie wants you to remember the simple formula of (if)Arnoldthen=muscles.


John Matrix character is a lot like John Rambo. Matrix is retired from his special operations job where he was the best at killing people. He’s just trying to live a normal life and people keep picking on him. And, much like Richard Crenna was Rambo’s hype man, so, too, is Major General Kirby Matrix’s hype man, saying things like, “If he’s still alive, I’d expect more [bodies]” and “Expect WWIII.” 

Commando is a great action flick, and very content to get liberal with the boundaries of realism. I mean, it gets pretty ridiculous at times. For example, Matrix has some superhuman strength moments, like pulling a metal chain and lock off of a gate with his bare hands or ripping a car seat out of the car without a struggle, not to mention bodyslamming a telephone booth with a dude still in it trying to make a call.

All in all, Commando is a classic entry in Arnold’s filmography for a reason. It’s fun, high-energy, with some great stunts and fights, and features Arnold cracking wise and flexing muscles.

Time until initial action starts: ~ 2 minutes

Time until real action starts: ~ 12 minutes

Baddies: Two guys and a gang of disgraced U.S. soldiers

Best Line: Matrix grabs a pipe and throws it at his opponent, pinning him to another pipe and piercing it so that steam pours from the baddie’s chest. “Let off some steam,” he puns at the now-deceased man who presumably was raised by a family who cared about him. 

Best Kill: Matrix is talking to a sleazeball in cahoots with the kidnappers. This poor, stupid, bag of garbage says, “If you want your kid back, you’ve got to cooperate with us, right?”

Matrix: “Wrong!” 

Then he shoots the guy right in the head! You will not be bullying John Fuckin’ Matrix into cooperating. If you want to live, you better cooperate with him!

Best Explosion: Matrix sets up some bombs outside a couple of buildings. As the baddies realize he’s there and come after him, the bombs blow and take out close to five buildings and a tower. The buildings get blown to such tiny pieces it left me thinking, “Oh, that debris is so cute, look how small the little rocks are!”

Action Rating: 4 1/2 Arnolds choppin’ limbs and catchin’ phrases, out of 5.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

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About Action Flick Chick

Action Flick Chick Katrina Hill, author of the books Action Movie Freak and 100 Greatest Graphic Novels , learned to appreciate all things action at a young age by sneaking into the room while her two older brothers watched action movies and horror. At ActionFlickChick.com, she shares her love of these films with everyone, along with interviews, news, and whatever else she happens to choose. G4TV crowned her their Next Woman of the Web champion, and she co-hosted MTV Geek’s live Comic-Con coverage. Her articles have appeared at sites including MTV.com, io9.com, Arcade Sushi, and Newsarama. Follow her as @ActionChick on Twitter. Base of operations: Dallas, Texas. Favorite Movie: Tremors (1990).
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12 Responses to Commando (1985) Review: Arnold Schwarzenegger in Top Form for this Action Classic

  1. Pingback: » Commando (1985)

  2. Tommy Salami says:

    Sometimes you review an oldie and don’t give it the credit it deserves, but you passed the Commando test with flying colors. This is the grand-daddy of 80s action stupidity, and it can do no wrong!

  3. Rick Swift says:

    This was the movie I heard my dad say, “bits o guy” for the first time, heh. Definitely a must for any 80s action buffs. And, yes, this one is chock full of one-liners too good to pass up.

  4. Commando is just a ridiculous and over the top action movie… and that is what makes it so much fun.

    I think I would slightly disagree on Best Line though, of course this movie has so many good one liners that it really is hard to decide on the best. My favorite though, would have to be:

    “Sully, remember when I promised to kill you last?”
    “That’s right, Matrix! You did!”
    “I lied.”

    He drops Sully off the cliff and then a few minutes later.

    “What happened to Sully?”
    “I let him go.”

  5. Reel Whore says:

    …finds his daughter by sheer process of elimination – haha!

    You nailed Commando perfectly. Great, cheesy lines, savage wanton mayhem and murder and Ahnold. The 80’s were such a grand time. I may need to pull this off the shelf to walk down the mine fields of memory lane.

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  8. Bobby Bless says:

    I love this movie, but I'm not sure if it's because he basically kills the same guy over and over again or because of that kick ass steel drum track they play over and over again… it may be both.

  9. Tamela says:

    “Commando” very good! A must see as far as I am concerned. Plus you get to see Alyssa Milano as a wee girl – too cute!

  10. RussellMania says:

    I love this (as you can tell since I have the Commando posters in a couple of my She’s Out of my League review http://bit.ly/bwwQwg and Twilight reaction video http://bit.ly/dwY0iX ) and all of Arnold’s action movies….Twins and Junior…not so much. My favorite line is the bad guy reminding Arnold that he liked him…so therefore he would kill him last. “I lied!”. I need to add this movie to my Arnold collection soon (currently at 11).

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