Action Flick Chick

Posted By Action Flick Chick on April 6, 2010

Dyno-mite! Dyno-mite! Tired of trying to feelin’ like a jive-ass turkey all the time? Well, now you can escape for a few hours with Black Dynamite. This film’ll teach you how to talk the talk, but you gotta walk the walk on your own, baby.

Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) learns that his brother was murdered so he goes on a warpath of vengeance the likes of which this world has never seen! During the investigations of the murder, Black Dynamite unfolds a massive web of deceit that goes all the way to the top! He enlists the help of some of his otha brothas, like Salli Richardson, Arsenio Hall, Kevin Chapman, and Tommy Davidson.

Black Dynamite is a spoof of 1970s blaxploitation films, as well as being a respectful nod to the genre, and it’s an absolute masterpiece. All the elements of a blaxploitation film are captured in Black Dynamite, from the pimps to the negative portrayal of white people, to the smooth, stud, ultra-kung-fu eponymous hero himself, Black Dynamite, who was masterfully portrayed by Michael Jai White. It’s all there rolled up into one hilarious film. This film is one you might need to watch repeatedly, because you’ll be laughing so hard over the first joke that you miss the next three. It also sprinkles some great action into the mix throughout the whole film as well. Overall, it’s a fantastic film and I can’t recommend it enough!

Time Until Action Starts: ~ 2 ½ minutes

Baddies: White people and the government!

Best Line: There are a butt-ton of great lines in this film, but one of my favorites is when a guy calls Black Dynamite and says, “We heard about your brother’s death, and we don’t want you running around turning the streets into rivers of blood.” To which Black Dynamite responds with: “Then tell me who did it, and I’ll just leave a puddle.” That’s my kind of man!

Best Reason for a Kill: SPOILER ALERT: Black Dynamite and his friends discover that one of their group members drank a concoction put out by the baddies. Anyone that drinks this concoction will suffer from shrinkage of the penis, and this guy was no exception. The worst was realized when they open his pants and see their friend’s “little dick.” Black Dynamite loves this friend so much that he and his other friends shoot this poor guy to death. Such noble friends to be able to put a guy out of his misery.

Action Rating: 3 ½ Black Dynamites, out of 5.

Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.

This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!

Categories: * all movie reviews *, 3.5 kabooms, action
Tags: '70s, 1970, Abraham Lincoln, Arsenio Hall, Black Dynamite, Blaxploitation, boobs, breasts, brother, Buddy Lewis, Buddy Love, Byron Minns, Cedric Yarbrough, Darrel Heath, Dick Nixon, dope, drug cartel, drug content, drug dealers, drug lord, druglord, DYNO-MITE! DYNO-MITE!, DYNOMITE, Harbor Entertainment, heroin, homage, James McManus, justice, Kevin Chapman, language, Lincoln Bedroom, little dick, Michael Jai White, Nicole Ari Parker, Nicole Sullivan, Nudity, parody, Pat Nixon, Patricia Nixon, penis, Pete Antico, Phil Morris, pimp, revenge, Richard Edson, Richard Nixon, river of blood, Salli Richardson, Scott Sanders, sexuality, some violence, spoof, The Man, Tommy Davidson, undercover, undercover brother, violence, William Bassett