American Outlaws (2001) – A Little Too Much Kick
Posted By Action Flick Chick on July 10, 2009
Cowboys, robberies, and an incredibly historically inaccurate look at the life of Jesse James is what American Outlaws is all about. Colin Farrell plays the infamous Jesse James, a man known for his poor bank etiquette. Ali Larter plays his wonderful cousin who then becomes his wife, a fact that they kind of breeze over in the film. “I now pronounce you man and COUGH cousin. You may kiss the bride!” I guess that back in the day you didn’t get to be choosy. Anyway, Farrell kicks some butt while slipping in and out of an American accent. That’s it in a nutshell. It’s not an overly exciting movie.
Time until real action starts: ~ 1 minute
Big Bad Baddies: Thaddeus Rains, Allan Pinkerton, and the railroad company.
Best Line: During a Civil War battle at the beginning of the movie, a soldier states, “My plan to lie here and piss on myself seems to be working mighty fine.” Now there’s a true hero.
Best Kill: James is arrested and being transported by train. He manages to escape soon after the train takes off. Then, James harnesses himself just right so that he runs on the side of the train and shoots everyone through the window. Those same people getting shot are shooting at James as well, but they must have skipped their target practice because James escapes with without a scratch.
Best Explosion: James and his good ole’ boy crew turned down the offer to sell their land to the pretentious Rains and Pinkerton. They get an inkling that somethin’ bad is about to happen. So James and his brother run home to see that their house is untouched. As soon as they say, “Thank God,” the house explodes. Their poor mamma, Cathy Bates, goes bye-bye. Thus the wrath of Jesse James begins.
Action Rating: 1 1/2 Sticks of dynamite with a little too much kick, out of 5
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters.
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