JCVD is so pompous the only costar worthy of his time is himself! JCVD plays twins in the action film, but the real scene stealer is the huge knot on JCVD’s forehead. He must’ve hurt himself pretty bad at some point and once you see it, you can’t look away- the knot feeds off of your attention! It grows in strength as you watch it! The knot knows all, sees all! Oh and, in addition to the omni-knot, there there’s some action stuff going on too.
Psst… up here. In the top left corner. I’m JCVD’s knot, and I’m here to tell you about Activia yogurt.
Double Impact is about twin brothers who are separated as infants after their parents are murdered. They reunite 25 years later to get revenge on their parents’ killers. If you can look past the multiple ridiculous looking Van Dammes and the lump on his forehead, the film also features ultra-badass Bolo Yeung as one of the villains. He probably wanted revenge from his last match up with JCVD in Bloodsport, which he definitely gets when he scores a powerful revenge nut shot on him.
Double Impact is a very bad film. I forgot how terrible JCVD was at portraying anyone other than his one usual straight laced, hero character that he always plays, but when he switches to his “brother” who is an edgier, more of a bad boy character (who somehow mysteriously has the same accent despite being raised in a separate part of the Earth), he sucks!
Even though JCVD’s is a poor actor, he certainly can kick some ass, and that’s why I like watching his films. In Double Impact he fights a ton of baddies, does the splits, and even sneaks in a fight against himself. If you want to laugh at bad acting and watch JCVD play with himself, give Double Impact a look!
Time Until Action: ~ 5 minutes.
Baddies: Hong Kong crime lord Raymond Zhang (Philip Chan) and his minions.
Best Line: “Maybe I’m drunk today, tomorrow I’ll be sober, BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A F****T!
Best Kill: One of the baddies had spurs on his boots. He kicked a random dude in a bar and slit his throat wide open with the spur.
Action Rating: 4 All-Seeing Van Damme Forehead Knots, out of 5!
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Come on Best kill has to be Van Damme’s thigh neck break! Also his twin takes out the other guard with a knife simultaneously and dumps his butt in the water!