If ever there was a dude you don’t want to antagonize, it would be a samurai, especially any of the samurai in the Japanese film 13 Assassins. Directed by Takashi Miike, 13 Assassins is a samurai epic based on a true incident. A Shogun’s younger brother, Lord Naritsugu (Goro Inagaki), becomes mad with power, so he goes out to rape and murder anyone that catches his eye, and no one can do anything about it because of his position. So Shinzaemon (Koji Yakusho), an older samurai, is secretly hired to assassinate Lord Naritsugu and put an end to the cruelty. Shinzaemon picks 11 other samurai and accidentally picks up a 13th man to embark on this near impossible mission.
An ActionFest organizer introduced each film and before 13 Assassins, I was told that as soon as they said “total massacre” it turned into a ridiculous and awesome total massacre. Needless to say, I started flipping out when those words popped up just minutes after the opening credits completed. But then nothing happened. And then still nothing happened. I was beginning to feel like someone lied to me. And I don’t like being lied to.
But, FINALLY “total massacre” came up for a second time and the action began, nearly an hour and a half later! I was incredibly disappointed and don’t want you to feel the same way. I will say this, though, that once “total massacre” is said for the SECOND time, the poop hits the fan and no one is safe from a big smelly splat. For approximately 30+ minutes afterwards, samurais are hacking, slashing, and blowing each other up and it’s a magnificent sight to see. So bide your time and the payoff will be worth it. Or you could fast forward through the blah-blah until you get to the hack-slash. The story was interesting for a little while, but the film is 141 minutes long with no action until the end! The Action Chick requires more Actiony sustenance than that!
I would definitely recommend 13 Assassins because of the incredible end action scene, but get your fast forward ready or suffer a long, long wait before you get to the good stuff.
Action Rating: 1 ½ Assassins, out of 5
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
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Well, if you skip all the blah blah part surely it turned into a ridiculous and awesome total massacre… this story is Japanese and the timing, scheming films has its own identity. Only brainless American like a senseless display of violence without any explanation. American way is first you shot then you explain, like Halloween, the texas massacre, saw, and that kind of American shitty movies. The guy kills everybody first and then (maybe) there’s going to be a explanation why the butchery. Maybe it’s because the Samurai must get why they need to kill.